Deathtour~!: Dolphin Stadium, Florida

Baseball stadiums need to be downtown, or at least in an area of a city that is easily accessible and there’s no better evidence of why that should be than Dolphin Stadium, a stadium that is so abominable, I can’t begin to fathom how Miami convinced Major League Baseball to give them a franchise. After 14 years they’re still playing in this dump without any plans for a modern facility. Dolphin Stadium is located in the exact center of nowhere, a perfect location for a football game but a lousy location for a baseball game. Despite having a bus that services the stadium, the line is so infrequent that it took me two hours to get to the game. Unacceptable.

The stadium is clearly designed for football. The Marlins don’t even bother selling tickets in half the upper deck sections and the left field sections are just like Candlestick’s pavilion and the current design at the Coliseum: football seating rolled underneath the baseball seats which causes discoloration in the outfield grass.

Not surprisingly, there’s no one at this game. And the Marlins are still competing for a wild card spot. Miami’s a worse baseball town than Atlanta. I can’t believe the Marlins have World Series to their name. I’m still bitter about that.

It’s a low scoring pitching duel. Good thing because I’ve never wanted a game to end so badly.

Dear God, the Marlins have cheerleaders. Cheerleaders?! In Baseball?! How is this allowed?!

They also have a group of fat male ‘cheerleaders’ called the Manatees. They’re a parody of their own cheerleaders! Priceless.

2-1 Dol-I mean Marlins going to the 9^th. The Mets fans are still into it. I think they outnumber the Marlins fans. And there aren’t many here to begin with.

Kevin Gregg comes in to close and quickly gets the first 2 outs. Unfortunately for Gregg you need 3 outs in baseball and getting that 3^rd out is proving to be a challenge. Two singles and back to back home runs later and the Mets have a 5-2 lead.

The bottom of the ninth is just as interesting. Now it’s the Mets fans to get nervous. The Marlins score two but strand two to end the game. I’ve never been happier to see a game end. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but Dodger Stadium is not the worst place in baseball.