Notes from the Deathtour

Deathtour~!: The Conclusion

2008-09-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

That’s it. I’m done. 30 ballparks in one season. It was a rollercoaster ride from coast to coast, beginning to end. And as strange as this may sound, I can’t believe it’s over. Without question it was the most fun I’ve ever had. Every baseball fan should embark on such an adventure in their lifetime.

For the first time in 5 months I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing to plan. Nowhere to go. So now I can only look back on what was, and because I’m fascinated by numbers and lists, here are some of the highlights and facts, a few best of and worst of lists, some advice for future aspiring deathtour participants, and a few thank yous.

When I set out do the deathtour last year I was absolutely clueless as to how much effort it would take and how expensive it would be. I initially thought I could complete the trip in under $4,000, $6,000 tops, and maybe that’s possible. With better planning I may have been able to pull that off. But here are the final numbers. The tickets alone, to all 30 games cost $1,070. That’s an average of $35.66 per game. That number does not take into account the games which I did not pay to get into. In San Francisco, Oakland, Arizona and Milwaukee I went to the game for free. The most expensive game was Wrigley. I spent $265 on 3 tickets. The most I spent on a single ticket was at Fenway. That game cost me $150.

The total cost of transportation from city to city was $4,500. That number does not include any city transit I may have used, be it taxis or metro. Over the course of the tour I boarded 38 different planes and 7 trains. Lodging at 21 hotels cost $2,676, a cost of $127 per location.

Had I kept better records I could tell you how much all my food cost. I’ve estimated that I spent $360 on food at games. The programs and scorecards added up to $137.

In total it all adds up to $8,754 not including other ancillary costs. All together that’s a cost of $291 per game. Not too bad, but it could be better.

And now a few completely arbitrary awards.

Best Out of Town Scoreboard (Excluding AT&T Park) – Fenway Park. Hand operated scoreboards are the best. Every ballpark should have one. Sadly, only a small number of them do and the best one of those is in Fenway.

Best Centerfield Screen – Chase Field, Arizona; Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City. These two ballparks set the gold standard today. Their size is jaw-dropping, they’re as clear as crystal and every inch of those screens is utilized perfectly.

Best Domed Ballpark – Chase Field, Arizona. Houston is a close number 2 here but AZ is the best.

Best Sausage Race – Miller Park, Milwaukee. Often imitated, never duplicated, still the best. Other ‘races’ have been popping up around the country including a live Dot Race in Texas, but nothing is better than 5 sausages running from left field to the first base dugout at Miller Park.

Best Giant Coca-cola Bottle – The Phone Booth, San Francisco. Take that, Atlanta!

Best Scorecard Design – SafeCo Field, Seattle. 6 spots for pitchers, a box to keep track of balls and strikes and slot at the bottom of the inning for E and LOB. You’d think every scorecard would have them but you’d be wrong.

Worst Scorecard Design – Dolphin Stadium, Florida. Stupid tiny and there’s no place to list who’s pitching! Unbelievable.

Best Ballpark with an Attention to History - 3. Yankee Stadium, New York; 2. Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati; 1. Busch Stadium, St. Louis – A fistful of statues of St. Louis greats, both Browns and Cardinals, a tribute to Jack Buck and the old scoreboard from old Busch.

Best Food - 5. Miller Park, Milwaukee; 4. PNC Park, Pittsburgh; 3. Chase Field, Phoenix; 2. MacAfee Coliseum, Oakland; 1. AT&T Park, San Francisco – The top 2 are both from the Bay Area? Shocking! Garlic Fries, hand carved sandwiches, Clam Chowder in sourdough bread, crab cakes, pizzas, Cha-Cha bowls and Baby Bull sandwiches, San Francisco has it all. In 8 years of going there I still haven’t tried everything yet.

Best Location - 5. Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati; 4. Yankee Stadium, New York; 3. PETCO Park, San Diego; 2. AT&T Park, San Francisco; 1. Wrigley Field, Chicago – Nothing tops the atmosphere at Wrigleyville before and after a game.

Worst Location - 5. MacAfee Coliseum, Oakland; 4. The Ballpark in Arlington, Arlington; 3. Anaheim Stadium, Anaheim; 2. Dolphin Stadium, Miami; 1. Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles – There’s, like, 10 million people there and they managed to build a park that isn’t near anything.

Best Value - 5. Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City; 4. Camden Yards, Baltimore; 3. Rangers Ballpark in Arlington; 2. Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati; 1. PNC Park, Pittsburgh – Not only is it one of the most beautiful parks in the country with engaging scenery and lively atmosphere, it’s also one of the most affordable which makes it the best value in America (and Toronto)

Best Classic Park - 3. Yankee Stadium, New York; 2. Wrigley Field, Chicago; 1. Fenway Park, Boston – Just edging out Wrigley for the best antique in the big leagues is Fenway. It’s all about the Green Monster.

Worst Ballpark - 5. Tropicana Field, Tampa Bay; 4. Metrodome, Minnesota; 3. Shea Stadium, New York; 2. Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles; 1. Dolphin Stadium, Florida – Two of these 5 are being replaced leaving the two Florida parks with Dodger Stadium. It’s a really tight race at the bottom. Dolphin and Dodger Stadiums might as well be 1a and 1b.

Best Ballpark - 5. Chase Field, Arizona; 4. Fenway Park, Boston; 3. PNC Park, Pittsburgh; 2. Busch Stadium, St. Louis; 1. AT&T Park, San Francisco – I’d always believed we had the best park in the country, but until now I couldn’t confirm it with certainty. 29 stadiums later, now I can.

The next 5:

Great American Ballpark, Wrigley Field, Jacobs Field, Minute Maid Park, Camden Yards

This whole endeavor wasn’t without a few minor problems and if I had to do this all over again (which, believe me, I’m not doing) I would change a few things.

1. Plan everything out before the season starts.

I paid for not doing this. By waiting until just a few weeks before leaving on a few trips I ended up paying more than I should have. There are some teams that sellout most, if not all of their games before the season. In cases like Fenway or Wrigley, buy your tickets well ahead of time.

2. Longer trips are cheaper.

This I realized but I only took two trips of one week or longer. I probably could have saved over a thousand dollars by grouping games together more efficiently. I traveled across the entire country only to go to a game in Atlanta and 2 games in Florida. I would have been better served to chain that trip with a few other games before coming home.

3. Pay attention to the weather.

Obviously, when you plan a trip like this out in February, you don’t know what the weather’s going to be like in Cleveland on July 23, but based on historical evidence you can figure when the best times and worst times to travel to certain places are. For instance, don’t plan to go to Florida during hurricane season. In Houston, I cost myself an extra $600 by scheduling that trip during the same week of a hurricane. Of course I couldn’t know that would happen but I would have lessened my chances of that happening by scheduling Houston or Florida in April. As it was, I was extremely lucky to only have to reschedule 1 game out of 30.

4. Get frequent flier miles with an airline.

I made sure to do this before I started. And if I was smarter than I was, I would have looked into a similar deal with a hotel chain too. But, as it turns out, I’m not that smart.

5. Mooch off your friends and relatives as much as possible.

This always helps when you’re looking to save some money.

6. Sit in the cheap seats.

At least most of the time. Upper deck seats behind home plate, in my experience, are the best value in most places. Really cheap bleacher seats are good too. In nearly every game I tried to buy a seat with a face value of less than $30.

That covers just about everything. But before I wrap this up I want to thank a few people.

First, thanks to anyone who’s been following this wacky adventure. I’ve gotten some great feedback from people and it’s nice to see everyone following me along from city to city.

Special thanks to everyone who came out to the games with me. Shane Welker, Pat Loika, Taxman, the Jew Mafia, Brewtown Andy, Ed, Jon Dye, Everyone’s Pal Jim, Jabsen, my sister and my family in Mesa. I really appreciate you guys and I had a blast hanging with you all at the yard and I hope we can all do it again some time.

A real special thanks to Shane, Pat, Jim and my family in Mesa for allowing me to crash with them for a night or two. You helped make this trip possible.

That’s it for this year. The Deathtour is at an end, at least for now. The most frequently asked question I get is, “So, are you going to go to every football stadium next year?” The answer to that is an emphatic, “No! Are you crazy?” I don’t even want to know how much that would cost me. But that’s not to say I won’t travel to a few sporting events next year. I may make a return trip to a few places, and New York will have 2 new stadiums next season for me to review.

2009, here we come. Go Giants!

Deathtour~!: Minute Maid Park, Houston

2008-09-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

It’s all come down to the last weekend of the season in Houston. I’ve passed through 29 stadiums on my way here and 5 months, 2 weeks and 5 days after I sat in section 321 of AT&T Park and watched that first game of the season I’ve finally reached the end of my journey. My only regret is that I’m finishing alone, and not in Kansas City as I’d originally planned. Se la vie.

After a long plane trip, which included 2 stops in San Diego and Denver, I arrived at long last in Houston. I quickly checked into my hotel nestled at the edge of downtown Houston, just two blocks from Minute Maid Park, and walked over to pick up my ticket from will call.

The Astros have a litany of historical accomplishments to their credit which are displayed in (I’m not joking) Halliburton Field, right outside the stadium behind the Crawford Boxes. Career milestones, retired numbers, player awards, HOF members – all are recognized with plaques behind half an infield with statues of a second basemen throwing to first.

There’s even a dugout you can sit in. And the windows provide a peek into the playing field from outside, similar to the right field level at AT&T.

Minute Maid is a brilliant concept with nods to past ballparks galore while remaining distinctively modern. The Crawford boxes only 320 feet from home and sit on top of the classic hand operated scoreboard. In dead center is Tal’s Hill and the flagpole, taken from Crosley Field and old Yankee Stadium respectively. The field dimensions remind me of the early ballparks, constrained in their design by the city streets they bordered. The field is rectangular with just the one curve in center. It’s a straight line from right field to the hill and only the Crawford boxes, jutting out in left prevent a straight line from the foul pole to the flag pole.

My seat was only $7 and now I know why. I can’t see the left field corner. I’m also in the very last row of section 406.

It’s game time and they haven’t closed the roof. I was really hoping they would. Not because the weather is lousy (it’s not), I just wanted to watch it move. About the only thing Minute Maid Park lacks so far is a quality centerfield screen. I’m pretty sure the one they have isn’t intended as an homage to 1980s technology.

Ty Wiggington hit one out to right and the train makes its way above the Crawford Boxes. The train is a reference to this being the former site of Union Station.

In a play that’s as unusual as the triple play I saw in San Francisco earlier this season, Michael Bourn just scored on a sacrifice fly to center from second base. Great heads up play by Bourn and it took everybody by surprise, most notably Josh Anderson who took his time in throwing it back in.

If you know 75 people and have $2500 to blow at a baseball game, why not rent out the roof at Union Station?

We just concluded the fifth inning making this game official. No matter what happens now, no can say I didn’t watch a game at all 30 stadiums this season. Since I’m alone for this game I take to my phone to spread the news.

LaTroy Hawkins come in to pitch the 8^th for the Astros with a 4-2 lead. It seems like I’ve watched him in 12 different games or so this season. Am I imagining that? I know he was with the Yankees earlier this season. How many teams has he played with in his career? It has to be over 10. I’m going to look this up. In the meantime Hawkins is pitching like he has absolutely nothing to do after the game tonight. Umpires need to start enforcing the 20 second rule. LaTroy Hawkins has been pitching so long he’s been traded twice since coming into the game.

Hawkins finally got out of the inning after giving up a run. At least the game isn’t tied. I can only imagine the final game of my season going 15 innings. (I looked it up and Hawkins has only played for 7 teams. That sounds way to low to me. He needs to play for 5 or 6 more before he retires.)

Jose Valverde, the Astros emotional closer come in to close out the game and hopefully finish my season.

Valverde gives up a walk, a single, a FC, another walk and a second single and we’re tied going to the bottom of the ninth. C’mon ‘Stros!

Well how ‘bout that! Darrin Erstad, who came in as a defensive substitution an inning earlier hit a walk off home run to win the game. It’s the first (and last) walk off home run I’ve seen this season and I can’t think of a better way to finish the deathtour~!

Deathtour~!: Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City

2008-09-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

After hitting Arlington I’m in KC, kicking it with the Jew Mafia in what was scheduled to be the final game of the season.

Kauffman Stadium is the definition of a work in progress. At 35 years old, The K is from the same era that Riverfront, Three Rivers, Dodger Stadium, Shea, Candlestick, and the Astrodome are from. As of 2009, all those stadiums, with the lone exception of Dodger Stadium, will no longer be used for baseball. In a time when those cookie-cutter ballparks are being replaced by modern retro style yards, Kauffman is being given a facelift, along with the Chiefs’ home arrowhead next door.

The reconstruction is ongoing, and watching a game at The K is akin to moving into a home with 2 walls. I half expected to be given a hard hat as I passed through the turnstile.

It’s retro week, or 80’s week, or something like that. Upper Deck seats are only $3! So of course that’s where were sitting, right? Nope. About 3 seconds before we got to the ticket window I changed my mind and splurged for the $25 first base side seats. Kauffman Stadium is the most affordable park in the country. Hopefully that doesn’t change with the renovations. This could be the best baseball park in terms of total value in 2009.

It’s surprisingly crowded, likely a result of the $3 seats and the ongoing construction which has reduced the capacity of the stadium to something in the 20,000s I’m guessing. The concourse is narrow. An issue that will be resolved next season, Simon says.

One of the new features that has already been put in is the new screen in centerfield and it’s a crowning achievement in video technology (no pun intended) and it looks every bit as good as the screen at Chase Field. Its shape is unique and also matches the logo of the Royals (the crown will be added for next season).

Being a National League guy, I don’t really know much about the Royals as a team, at least their current roster. Simon mentions all the youngsters on the Kansas City roster. Meanwhile I’m looking over the names of past Royals listed on the long sleeve t-shirt we got at the gate: Bret Saberhagen, Jeff Montgomery, George Brett, Hal McRae, Dan Quisenberry. Before tonight I honestly couldn’t have named a player on the Royals roster if you placed a gun to my head. Benito Santiago played here for a season, right?

One of the Royals best prospects, I’m told, is Alex Gordon but I'm pretty sure that's Jim from The Office.

A lot of seating has been removed, including several rows behind home plate. Entire sections were closed off in the upper deck.

The bulk of the renovations are taking place in the outfield. A new restaurant (all the rage in baseball parks these days) is being built behind the left field bullpen and a portion of the water formation will be removed to add a small bleacher section. The waterfall and fountains will still remain in center and right fields.

It’s too bad I came here during construction. From the looks of it, it’s going to be a top of the line facility next season. I just don’t know when I’ll get a chance to see it.

Just 1 more game! Can I make it to Houston before the season ends?

Deathtour~!: Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas

2008-09-16T06:19:00.001-07:00

What a difference two days make. I’m still recovering from Denver but I feel 10,000% better than I did on Saturday. Today I’m in Arlington, a city with over 300,000 people yet has no public transportation to speak of. And though my hotel is just a mile or so from the ballpark, it took me 30 minutes to get there this morning to buy my ticket, walking mostly on the shoulder of the road as there were no sidewalks.

I walked back over for the game in the evening about 30 minutes before the first pitch to an almost empty ballpark. I realized that just down the road the Cowboys are playing the Eagles on Monday Night Football but I’m still shocked that this place is empty so close to gametime.

Everything is big in Texas, including Rangers Ballpark. The concourse is enormously spacious. The grandstand supports are towering. The suites in centerfield are skyscrapers. Yet it’s somehow scenic.

The first pitch is thrown and I don’t believe there is more than 10,000 people here.

I’m all the way up in the upper level but I’ll likely be moving around quite a bit. With so few people here I don’t think anyone will care where I sit. FYI, my seat cost only $6. Pretty sweet deal.

Two batters in and Texas’ starting pitcher has sustained an injury of some sort. I couldn’t tell from way up here what happened but his catcher sensed something was up based on the last pitch he threw. We’ve got our first pitching change of the night.

It’s so quiet here you can hear each individual fan yelling at the players. Some guy 400 feet from me in the centerfield bleachers just called Matt Joyce a ‘chicken’ for not trying to stretch a double into a triple. Not word on whether the fan in question was this guy.

Jeffrey Larish hit an excuse me double off a check swing down the left field line to drive in the first run of the game. There’s something you don’t see every game.

For no apparent reason a small round of applause makes its way around the stadium. I can only assume this has something to do with the football game. A few minutes later a small chorus of boos goes up.

Hey, it’s the dot race. I thought that event was exclusive to Oakland. And the final lap is LIVE~? They’re not kidding! This is the greatest thing my eyes have ever been witness to.

Strange series of events. Max Ramirez, Ranger DH, was clearly hit with a pitch on a check swing. At least it was clear to everyone except home plate umpire Eric Cooper. Ramirez was about to head down to first when Cooper was like, “Where you going, buddy?” Ramirez rolled up his sleeve to show him the mark. Cooper looked at it for about a minute and still wasn’t convinced so Rangers manager, Ron Washington came out to give him some help in finding the giant mark the pitch left. Finally Cooper gets help from the first base umpire who tells him, “oh yeah, he was hit,” and Cooper awards Ramirez first base. This of course brings out Jim Leland because that’s what you do when a call is reversed. It doesn’t matter that even you don’t believe you’re right.

Leland’s putting on a pretty good show. I think he may have convinced himself that Ramirez wasn’t hit. But he eventually returned to the dugout.

Okay, things just picked up again. About 15 seconds after returning to the dugout, Cooper ejected Leland. I guess he really did think he wasn’t hit.

And now I’ve seen everything. Jim Leland, at 95 years of age or so, ran out of the dugout like an Olympic sprinter to get his money’s worth with Cooper. I’m stunned he didn’t break a hip in the process. The only way this could possibly get better is if he returns to the dugout two innings later sporting a Groucho mustache.

So after all that happened, Taylor Teagarden, the Rangers rookie catcher who’s slugging .900 or so hits a Grand Slam to give the Rangers the lead. This has been one of the most entertaining games I’ve been to all season.

I’ve been changing seats every half inning or so. I haven’t seen a bad seat yet. Detroit ties it back up in the 7^th. Nobody wants to win this game.

Detroit regains the lead only to blow it in the bottem of the 8^th. Texas has a 3 run cushion going to the ninth. Hopefully it’s enough to send these 10,000 or so fans home happy.

Earlier Gary Sheffield hit his 497^th home run. I’m standing near where it was hit when the usher standing next to me tells me Sheffield asked for the ball back as they were escorting the guy who caught it to the visiting locker room. I figure he must have passed someone on the all time list but it turns out he didn’t so who knows why he wants it.

And the Rangers do close it out winning a wild one, 11-8.

Deathtour~!: Coors Field, Colorado

2008-09-15T14:54:00.002-07:00

When I labeled this cross-country journey to ballparks from coast to coast the “Deathtour” it was a tongue in cheek phrase intended to poke fun at my 30 ballparks or bust attitude towards this wacky adventure. It was never meant to be taken seriously. But the word “Deathtour” could not be a more appropriate today. With just a few games left in the season I took off for what was my last scheduled road trip to 4 midwest cities: Denver, Houston, Arlington and Kansas City. Mother Nature had already altered my plans just days before my departure in shutting down the city of Houston. The day before I left for Denver I could tell I was coming down with some virus.

By the time I got to Denver I was running a high fever. I haven’t been this sick in a long time. I have no business being out the house let alone flying to another state for a baseball game. And the altitude isn’t doing any favors for my health I’m sure. I’m feeling worse by the minute. There’s a good chance I won’t make it through the game.

Coors Field is only a short walk from my downtown hotel which couldn’t be more important tonight. It’s surrounded by upscale restaurants and businesses and blends in beautifully with the brick facing. To my surprise there’s a sizable walk up crowd for the game and plenty of Dodger fans.

Coors Field has $4 seats in center field. That’s one of the best deals in baseball but I need to sit in the shade so I buy a ticket for the third base reserved.

I don’t know if it’s the altitude or this disease that’s ravaging my body but I just got winded walking up a flight of stairs to the upper deck. I just hope I don’t collapse.

The Rockies and Dodgers are playing a twilight game tonight so I got here just in time for the start of the game. This is great news for me although in my near delirious state I didn’t check the first pitch ahead of time so it’s a complete accident I’m here on time.

I barely have time to fill in my scorecard when Manny Ramirez, wearing a number that has no business being on a baseball uniform, hits a double to right. Manny gets the superstar heel reaction from the crowd along with some applause from the Dodger fans. If I could I’d be right with those Rockies fans. I just don’t have a voice for it.

I had plans to walk up to the top of the stadium but thought better of it. Near the top is a row of seats colored purple. This row is exactly 1 mile above sea level (or so they say).

The Rockies are one of those teams that have no retired numbers, aside from the league retired #42, but that will change eventually, perhaps within the next decade. I would be shocked if Todd Helton doesn’t receive the honor of being the inaugural selection. He’s injured right now, but I’ve seen hundreds of number 17 jerseys in the stands.

The Rockpile in centerfield. And below that, a rock pile in centerfield.

Just missed catching a foul ball, or in this case being hit by one as I can barely move. I've seen far more line drives hit into the upper deck here than anywhere. Not surprising given where I am.

The Rockies may be the only professional team with a female mascot. Okay, so maybe Dinger isn’t a girl dinosaur, but that was my initial reaction when I saw him/her/it.

Meanwhile, in the game I’m barely able to pay attention to, the Dodgers have opened up a 4-1 lead in the fourth. Ramirez strikes out swinging for the second time to end the rally.

The game becomes official at around 7:45 and with great sadness I decide I’ve had enough. In the words of Kimbo Slice, “I’m done, Gus.” I take one last lap around the field to enjoy the bleachers, the bullpen and hand operated scoreboard. Coors Field is a great looking ballpark. I only regret not being well enough to enjoy it properly.

After exiting the stadium I take one last look at the lone statue outside the Home Plate gate. But it's not a statue of a Rockie player, it's a statue of a generic baseball player.

Next up is Arlington…hopefully.

Deathtour~!: Tropicana Field, Tampa Bay

2008-09-15T14:54:00.001-07:00

I’m done with the state of Florida. And I’m not talking baseball games here. I’m talking life. I hope in the remaining one-hundred twenty five years of life I have left I never ever have to return to this awful state. How anyone could live here willfully is beyond me.

It only took me 30 minutes to walk to Tropicana Field, which was more than enough time for a thunderstorm to start after I left the hotel and stop before I was in view of the [Devil] Rays home dome. By the time I walked to the ticket window I looked like I had just jumped into the deep end of a pool completely dressed. I’ve never been happier to be in a dome.

The [Devil] Rays have a reputation for not drawing fans unless Boston is in town but there’s a big crowd on hand today. I couldn’t even get upper deck seats. I had to pay for lower level loge seats which I wasn’t happy about since I ended up finding plenty of seats up top. There’s plenty of entertainment going on here including a post game concert and Sci-fi night. And according to the emcee there might be a baseball game played here as well. Here's hoping.

I watched BP and had lunch from my paid seat but took to the very last row for the game to allow my soaking wet feet to dry off in private.

From up here I can almost touch the catwalk.

My camera died shortly after the game started. I hope it’s not a result of walking through that thunderstorm. Everything in my pockets got soaked, including my trip itinerary and passport. Florida sucks.

The crowd is a weird combination of seniors and 15 year old girls. I’m assuming the girls are all here for the concert. As for the old people, it’s Florida. I wonder if the [Devil] Rays have some sort of Bingo Night event. I’d think that’d be a no-brainer down here.

Aubrey Huff gets the “we don’t like you now that you’re not playing for us” reaction and promptly knocks one out of the park to give the Orioles a 5-3 lead. This has the feeling of a 12-9 sort of game.

Maybe it’s because we don’t have one in SF, but I don’t understand the need for an emcee scouring the crowd between innings while being shadowed by half a dozen girls who couldn’t explain the ground rule double if you gave them a rule book.

Two things that really make this place look far worse than it is: The catwalk and that awful looking turf.

Another deathtour first. A walkoff base hit in the bottom of the ninth to win 10-9. And there have been plenty of bottom of the ninth chances for home teams so far. Carlos Pena walked and Rocco Baldelli, shockingly healthy, drove him in. Pena got in just before the tag to end the game. Can I go home now?

Deathtour~!: Dolphin Stadium, Florida

2008-09-15T14:53:00.000-07:00

Baseball stadiums need to be downtown, or at least in an area of a city that is easily accessible and there’s no better evidence of why that should be than Dolphin Stadium, a stadium that is so abominable, I can’t begin to fathom how Miami convinced Major League Baseball to give them a franchise. After 14 years they’re still playing in this dump without any plans for a modern facility. Dolphin Stadium is located in the exact center of nowhere, a perfect location for a football game but a lousy location for a baseball game. Despite having a bus that services the stadium, the line is so infrequent that it took me two hours to get to the game. Unacceptable.

The stadium is clearly designed for football. The Marlins don’t even bother selling tickets in half the upper deck sections and the left field sections are just like Candlestick’s pavilion and the current design at the Coliseum: football seating rolled underneath the baseball seats which causes discoloration in the outfield grass.

Not surprisingly, there’s no one at this game. And the Marlins are still competing for a wild card spot. Miami’s a worse baseball town than Atlanta. I can’t believe the Marlins have World Series to their name. I’m still bitter about that.

It’s a low scoring pitching duel. Good thing because I’ve never wanted a game to end so badly.

Dear God, the Marlins have cheerleaders. Cheerleaders?! In Baseball?! How is this allowed?!

They also have a group of fat male ‘cheerleaders’ called the Manatees. They’re a parody of their own cheerleaders! Priceless.

2-1 Dol-I mean Marlins going to the 9^th. The Mets fans are still into it. I think they outnumber the Marlins fans. And there aren’t many here to begin with.

Kevin Gregg comes in to close and quickly gets the first 2 outs. Unfortunately for Gregg you need 3 outs in baseball and getting that 3^rd out is proving to be a challenge. Two singles and back to back home runs later and the Mets have a 5-2 lead.

The bottom of the ninth is just as interesting. Now it’s the Mets fans to get nervous. The Marlins score two but strand two to end the game. I’ve never been happier to see a game end. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but Dodger Stadium is not the worst place in baseball.

Deathtour~!: Turner Field, Atlanta

2008-09-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

It’s the beginning of a new road trip, a short 3 game stretch covering the three southeast teams in baseball - Atlanta, Florida and Tampa Bay – beginning at Turner Field in Atlanta. I’m really looking forward to this game. Well, not so much the game, but for the first non-Bay Area game since Milwaukee I’ll be joined by another friend of mine and it’s always nice to see long distance friends.

Conveniently, my hotel is right across the street from Turner Field so I walk over about 30 minutes before game time and stroll through Monument Grove to the ticket window. Monument Grove is Turner Field’s version of the various statue parks throughout the league, paying tribute to Hank Aaron, Warren Spahn, Phil Niekro and others. There’s also the Braves Hall of Fame and Museum but I don’t have the time to see it.

My buddy JABSEN has scored us club level seats but he was running a little late so I bought the cheapest ticket available ($6 for Upper Pavilion in right field) and went through the gate. Throughout the lower level are standing room areas behind the first level of seating, complete with ample counter space so you can stand and enjoy the game without the complication of awkwardly scribbling in that 6-4-3 double play while balancing that half eaten Georgia Dog on your lap as you rub elbows with the guy next to you. There’s plenty of room at the counter.

After Jabsen arrives we make our way up to the club level. From here I have a much better view of the rest of the stadium. Atlanta has a reputation of being a fairly lousy sports city and this crowd is evidence of that. True, the franchise’s success has waned recently, but even when they were winning division titles every year for over a decade they had trouble filling seats.

Those division titles are all listed in left field. I still can’t believe they only won one World Series in all those seasons with one of the greatest pitching rotations ever. Maddox, Glavine and Smoltz are all Hall of Fame pitchers. How cool would it be if they all retired at the same time and went to Cooperstown in the same class?

Speaking of Smoltz, sadly, he’s been injured for a majority of the season. About the only contribution he’s made this year are those 30 second promo spots between innings on community events and designated driving. Without a doubt, Smoltz is my favorite non Giants player ever.

Brian McCann’s 3 run home run has the Braves up 4-0 over the Marlins, who I’ll be watching tomorrow night as well in Miami.

Chick-fil-a, which has no presence in the Bay Area what-so-ever, is one of the Braves’ chief corporate sponsors. They even have a giant mechanical cow that does the chop. On a completely unrelated note, does anyone remember Rusty? Yeah, me neither.

Turner Field is also home to the second best coca-cola bottle in baseball. I shouldn’t have to say where the best is.

There’s a lot of entertainment here including a pair of restaurants, an alley of interactive fun, a stage and Tooner Field, a Cartoon Network invention for the kids.

Braves closer, Mike Gonzalez, strikes out the side to end a quick 2 and a half hour game. It was fun while it lasted but I feel short changed on the amount of time I got to spend with Jabby but such has been the case with many of these quick stops.

Deathtour~!: McAfee Colisuem, Oakland

2008-09-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

It’s a good thing there’s a BART station that drops you off right behind the Oakland Coliseum. Otherwise, there’d be no reason to make the trip out here. Oakland is second only to Southern California in terms of worst locations for a ballpark, although that’s just so far. Miami, Tampa and Arlington are still to come.

The Colisuem is just a stone’s throw from home yet I feel as though it’s such a hassle to get to. But then I’m lazy. So lazy that I haven’t been here since sixth grade. To get an idea of how long that’s been compare how the ballpark looked then to how it looks now.

Then:

Now:

Oh, it’s hideous! Make it stop!

Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise as the A’s are in process of securing a brand new baseball only stadium in beautiful Freemont.

If you can ignore Mt. Davis (it’s tough to do), this is still a quality place to watch a game. The A’s have a small but vocal fan base, the weather is great, the seating is intimate (thanks to the tarping off of the upper deck) and prices reasonable, and the food might be second only to San Francisco.

There’s a lot that can be said about the upper deck tarp. Yes, it draws attention to the fact that Oakland can’t draw a big crowd but at least they don’t let the space go to waste. There are Championship markers and retired numbers lining the outfield tarp: The Eck, Jackson, Fingers and Catfish. I wonder if they’ll ever add McGuire to that list. He was just as important to those late eighties and early ninties teams as Eckersley.

On to the game. This is the second time I’ve watched Oakland and the fourth time I’ve watched the White Sox. It’s the second match-up of two teams I’ve watched previously. Oakland defeated the White Sox at US Cellular Field back in July 2-1 in an excellent pitching duel. The principle difference between then and now is the addition of Ken Griffey Jr. to the White Sox lineup. AJ Peirzynski is not in the lineup. This is very disappointing. I was really looking forward to heckling him.

We’re headed for another low scoring affair, although Danks and Smith are using a ton of pitches. The White Sox went up 2-0 in the second on a pair of doubles and a single. Oakland got one back in the third on a double and an error. Not much else in the way of runs. Nick Swisher has gotten a positive response from the fans of his former team.

Next time I’m sitting up there. $35, a seat behind home plate and all you can eat food.

Oakland also has a hand operated score board. And above that are the drummers you’ve heard at every Oakland home game. They’ve kept it up all game today.

Jenks, which sounds a lot like Danks, gets the save eventually and White Sox get their revenge for the game I went to in Chicago. On the season it’s the 16^th road victory I’ve attended, which guarantees the home squad will have a collective losing record for the deathtour. Considering the winning percentage of the home team is 55% in baseball, this statistical anomaly is baffling to me.

Deathtour~!: Rogers Centre, Toronto

2008-09-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

First off, yes, I’m a month late with this. Why I couldn’t get to this sooner, I don’t know. But anyway, after the late night game at Fenway I headed to the land of the maple leaf, Mounties, ice hockey and Bret Hart to watch the only remaining Canadian team in Major League baseball. And I haven’t seen Toronto at all so it’s the first time I’ll get to hear O’Canada this season. I’m really excited about that.

The former Skydome, now labeled Rogers Centre, sits in the shadow of the CN Tower near the Toronto waterfront. When it was built, it was considered a state-of-the-art facility. It was the first stadium to have a fully retractable roof, and also is home to a restaurant in centerfield and a hotel, with rooms overlooking the field. Unfortunately a few years later, Camden Yards would open and completely alter people’s perceptions of what a baseball facility should look like.

The first level promenade is more like a basketball or hockey arena than a baseball or football stadium. Maybe it’s the cleaner floors or the way the sound echoes off the walls. It’s not the sound of a park, it’s the sound of an arena. And with the doors to the dome closed the wind moves differently. It’s serene and calm.

Before finding my up to the top level, I took a peak in the team store. My attention was drawn to a wall of caps. From afar I was unable to tell what was on most of them, but based on the sheer volume of hats I assumed they carried the logos of many different teams, which would be unusual for a team store. On closer inspection every hat was a Blue Jays hat. There must have been 50 unique designs. I didn’t think it was possible to have 50 variations on a single logo, but I guess I was wrong.

Once again I’m at a domed stadium without a dome above me. So far, every retractable roof I’ve been to has been opened. Metrodome in Minneapolis is the only indoor game I’ve seen. Later this season Tampa will be inside and Houston has a dome, which is rarely ever opened. It’s a bit disappointing that Seattle, Arizona, Milwaukee and Toronto all had their roofs open.

I just made it to my seat to hear O Canada, literally music to my ears after standing through 20 versions of The Star Spangled Banner, 90% of them awful. AJ Burnett is pitching for Toronto, Scott Shields for Tampa Bay. 80% chance of a pitching duel tonight.

Burnett strikes out the side in the top of the first sparking a roar from the small crowd. Hey! Cliff Floyd is in the lineup for Tampa Bay. I remember him coming up in 1993 as a rising star and quickly fading into obscurity and disappearing from my radar completely about 5 years ago. I’m genuinely stunned he’s still playing.

We’re rolling along here. Burnett has 7 strikeouts through 3 innings but Tampa has a 1-0 lead. Toronto is one of only a few teams that doesn’t have any retired numbers, but unlike the other franchises that were created recently the Blue Jays have been around since the 1970s. Instead, Toronto has what they call “The Level of Excellence” which lists some of the key players they’ve had over the years. I know they have a policy against retiring numbers but I think it’s crazy that someone is still wearing Joe Carter’s number.

Eric Hinske was just picked off first base drawing a huge reaction at the former Blue Jay. I’d have to check, but I think that’s the first successful pickoff I’ve seen. I’m still waiting on a no-hitter and a cycle.

Both starting pitchers have been outstanding but they’re out due to that dreaded pitch count. Matt Stairs, who still comes to the plate to Stone Cold Steve Austin’s theme music, put the Blue Jays ahead on a two-run hit that cleared a wall constructed in the outfield.

I’m perusing the Blue Jays program and came across the absolute funniest thing I’ve ever seen, the player profile for current Toronto Blue Jay and former Giant Jeremy Accardo. The significant text has been highlighted.

BJ Ryan closes out the Rays in the ninth to send the crowd home happy. A family of foreign tourists (and in this case I am also a foreign tourist), getting their first taste of baseball, ask me who won the game. The son seems to have an idea of what’s going on as when I tell them the Blue Jays won he gives his dad the “see, I told you” look.

It is somewhat sad that a stadium built in my lifetime is so completely outdated, which is not to say it’s a bad place to watch a game despite a turf surface, dirt only around the bases, the multi-purpose field, a seating capacity exceeding the demand of the fan base and an upper deck that might possibly be located in upstate New York. It’s a nice location, and the facilities inside the stadium are well kept, but this type of ballpark is quickly reaching extinction. With a retractable roof, there’s no reason not to have natural grass. I’m not sure what you can do about the upper level seating being so far away. Maybe they can tarp off the upper deck entirely and add field level seat while renovating the outfield section.

Deathtour~!: Fenway Park, Boston

2008-07-28T14:26:00.000-07:00

So far, over the course of the Deathtour, I’ve been extremely fortunate not to encounter a rain out. Because I have to map out the tour in advance and because this is rather costly, I only give myself a single day in each city. So there’s no room for error, or in this case, rain. If a game gets canceled on the day I’m in town, I’m out of luck. So far, the closest I’ve come to not seeing a game was in Washington, where the start of the game was delayed by an hour. Tonight, I’m in Boston to see the Green Monster, Pesky's Pole, Manny being Manny, and the most important rivalry in the history of sports (according to ESPN’s coverage), but…it’s raining.

The game is scheduled to start at 8pm local time. As of twenty minutes before the top of the hour I’m still stuck in my hotel room waiting for the heavens to part and keeping an eye on the tube hoping for some positive news. Karl Ravach says the game could start by 8:15 but the window to get this game in is small. If this game goes late or enters another delay I may call it a night. But at least it looks like some of this game will happen, so it won’t be a total loss for me.

They’re taking the tarp off the field. That’s my cue to head to Fenway.

The walk was longer than I realized to the point that I thought I’d been walking in the wrong direction, but eventually I saw the lights.

When I get to my seat the tarp is still on the field making me question what I was watching on TV in my hotel room. The game is going to start at 9pm, giving me plenty of time to stare in awe at the Monster. It’s amazing to see it with my own eyes. I’m geeking out for the hand operated scoreboard and the old-timey style ads. Forget the game, I’m just going to stare at the wall for 9 innings.

Hey, Angel Hernandez is calling balls and strikes tonight. That’s the second time on this trip. Every time I see Angel Hernandez I remember back to a game at Wrigley where a drunk Mongo McMichael, former Bears football player and member of the 4 Horsemen, before singing Take Me Out To The Ballgame, said he’d ‘take care of the umpire’ for calling a poor game.

Sir Sidney Ponson is warming up in the bullpen. The scoreboard says his record is 6-1. That can’t possibly be right. Is there more than one Sir Sidney Ponson?

Even though I hate Boston fans for letting the success of a single championship go to their heads and turn them into the most repulsive and dislikable fans in sports, I will say that they know how to make the atmosphere electric. Everything gets a reaction, positive and negative. It doesn’t sound like there are too many Yankee fans. I’m a bit disappointed. I was hoping for some good back and forth chants from the crowd.

Boston goes up immediately in the first with a 3 spot. Now that looks like the Ponson I’m familiar with.

This has to be the worst section in the stadium. The location is fine but the seats are facing center field. And I’m behind Pesky's Pole. I have to crane my neck at a 90 degree angle to the left to see home plate. I can’t believe they haven’t restructured these seats in the last 90 years to face home plate. It’s only the third inning and my neck is developing a cramp.

Meanwhile, Boston keeps rolling with a run in the second, a run in the third, and a 2 run blast from Big Papi down the right field line. With not much to cheer about after two losses the last two nights, Sox fans are letting it all out tonight. And there’s activity in the Yankees’ bullpen.

The blimp is here tonight covering the game for ESPN. When I looked up they were showing advertising for UFC and Chris Leben was knocking someone out. Cool.

Yankees get 2 off Jon Lester in the 5^th inning but the Sox get it back in the 6^th. Ponson was pulled after 4. Someone give that man some Brandy.

The bleachers tried to get a wave going but failed. I’m still shocked to see it here. And there’s beach balls too. How embarrassing. I didn’t think I could have lower opinion of Boston fans but I do now.

Retired Massachusetts State Trooper Dan Clark overcomes a bad mic to put on a great show in belting out God Bless America in the middle of the seventh. He got a loud ovation and even I was clapping.

It’s approaching midnight. I’m not getting much sleep tonight, that’s for sure. Thankfully I only have one more day of this.

Boston finally wins this one sided affair a few minutes shy of 12am. All but one Sox player had a hit and JD Drew had 2 walks. As I’m walking out the Sox fans are jeering the few Yankee fans that are here. One of the New York fans comes back with chants of “26” and “2 out of 3”. I guess he’s got a point there.

Deathtour~!: PNC Park, Pittsburgh

2008-07-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

PNC Park is another in a series of new stadiums that have cropped up in the last decade. Kruk and Kuip gush about this place on TV and they are absolutely right. This place is a gem. Situated right on the Alleghany River, much in the same way that Pac Bell is situated at China Basin, perhaps slightly further inland, PNC is one of the smallest parks in the Majors, making it a real intimate experience. The stadium size, the structure, the smaller crowds, the promotions, the small market atmosphere, the lack of club level seating and the ticket prices ($24 for a lower box seat) combine to create an almost minor league experience. And that’s not a slight. But there’s a major difference between Pittsburgh and say, Chicago or Philadelphia. The Pirates have acted as a feeder to the major markets for the past 10 years. The future stars may play here now but ultimately they get traded for prospects to perennial contenders like the Yankees (who just made a trade for the Pirates’ leading hitter, Xavier Nady). But despite the recent struggles of the Buccos, it hasn’t stopped them from creating one of the most pleasant baseball experiences in the country.

At one point, long, long ago, Pittsburgh was a great team and remnants of that history are scattered throughout the park. Hall of Famer and one of the greatest hitters who ever lived, Roberto Clemente, has a statue right outside the center field gate. Inside the left field gate are the hands of Ralph Kiner.

The bullpen is right up against the center field walkway, a perfect location for heckling opposing relievers.

The Pirates have one of the most affordable ticket prices in the majors. I can’t believe this seat is only $24. the seats behind the plate are a fraction of the price at many other stadiums.

You can watch the game through a screen under the right field bleachers. Unlike Pac Bell this area is within the ballpark gates. The scoreboard, which sadly is not hand operated, is directly below.

The scoreboard is almost identical to Philadelphia’s, minus the pitching matchups.

There are two rotundas; one behind home plate and one in left field. The left field rotunda looks like a great spot to stand and watch the game.

The announcement of the Pirates line up is preceeded with a video package set to the Pirates of the Carribean theme that includes an entire history of the franchise combining stills, video and old newspaper clippings. It blows away any similar video I’ve seen at a baseball game. I wonder if they have this available to watch online.

Van Benschoten is on the hill for Pittsburgh. After striking out Jody Gerut he gives up two walks and a home run, followed by a third walk, a single and a double. Ouch. 41 pitches in the first inning. This game could be out of reach before the Pirates even come up to bat. San Diego up 4-0.

Small ball. The idea of manufacturing runs is almost extinct. Pittsburgh gets it done with a single, a stolen base, a sacrifice fly and a second hit.

A single, a walk and another home run for San Diego in the second and Van Benschoten is out of the game, leaving to a chorus of boos from the Pirate faithful.

9-0 in the middle of the fifth. Time for some in-game entertainment. In Pittsburgh it's the Pyrogie race, and surprise, surprise, it's a total work. Mrs. Pyrogie(not her official moniker but I didn't catch name) suffers an injury and the camera guy takes out the other three pyrogies and helps the Missus past the finish line.

Either the Pirates are having a fire sale or manager John Russell has given up on the game. He's just subbed three of his top four hitters out.

The Pirates have made a game of this as I've moved around the ballpark, settling in at the left field rotunda.

Across the river, just outside my hotel, there's some sort of festival going on. And they're capping it off with a fireworks show, visible from the bleachers and right field side of the field. The game is still going on here but most everybody has turned their attention to the sky.

Trever Hoffman comes in and records a single out to close the game after Pittsburgh scores again to make it 9-6 San Diego. After the final out I head down the home plate rotunda and out the exit to look at the Honus Wagner statue.

Deathtour~!: Citizen's Bank Park, Philadelphia

2008-07-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

To my complete surprise, the Phillies game was sold out, so in that sense it was good that I wasn’t with anybody for the game. I don’t know if I could have found 2 tickets next to each other from a scalper. As it was, I bought a ticket, for well more than I should have, from the first person who had one to sell.

It was pretty close to first pitch by the time I’d walked the several miles down Broad from my hotel to the sports complex, so I went upstairs immediately to find my seat. I was hoping it was in the shade. The top of my head is beginning to resemble a beet.

I’m in the first row of the top level and I’m right behind the Phillies dugout, but it’s not worth what I paid. I feel even worse when I learn how much the guy next to me sold my seat for to the guy I bought it from. And the sun is right in my eyes. I have to check to make sure I’m wearing my shades.

Time for some food. I’ve heard that Bull’s BBQ is the place to go. It’s all the way down in Ashburn Alley behind centerfield. Ashburn Alley is the featured attraction here. From the Alley you have a great view of the game from center, you can heckle the opposing team’s bullpen, walk the Phillies All-Star lane and relive the history of baseball in Philadelphia. I just want food for now, the rest can come after the game.

Aaaand I took one look at the line and decided on something else. I’ve never seen a line that long for food at a game. Not even for garlic fries at the Phone Booth. But at least I got up close to Braves starter Jair Jurrjens. Instead I have a Cheesesteak, which at least fits with being in Philly. Oh, and through all that I missed the first half inning getting back up to my seat.

It’s Christmas in July at Citizens Bank Park. Christmas music and movie clips have been playing between innings. Not much to talk about in regards to the game so far. It’s been a pitchers’ duel through three.

Brian McCann breaks through with a soaring shot to right. Two batters later, Jeff Francour sends a blooper into right field. I didn’t think Jenkins had a shot to catch it, and neither did anyone else, but he came on to make a spectacular diving catch.

Even though it’s not a hand operated scoreboard, I like the Phillies classic electronic design. It’s simple, has room for every game, and is free from clutter. A single light indicates outs and runners. No giant graphics or any of that nonsense.

It’s Christmas in July so the Phanatic, dressed as Santa, meets the real Santa. I was hoping he’d get booed but that didn’t happen.

The Phillies just aren’t hitting tonight. 1 run might be enough for the Braves. And Kendrick has pitched well for the Phillies, he’s just not getting any support.

We have a cameraman in our section. We spent a half inning debating what’s he’s here for. Prizes? Kiss Cam? Turns out a kid in the next row down won two tickets to a local theme park. He then turns his attention on a little girl who is a bit camera shy when she sees herself on the big screen.

Kendrick gets pulled after 6 due to pitch count. I remember when guys would throw 200 pitches over 13 innings without breaking a sweat.

Have I mentioned it’s Christmas in July?

Ouch! Jayson Werth hit a comebacker that nearly took Jerrjans’ head off. Jerrjans recovered, found the ball and threw Werth out to end the 8^th.

Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel is bringing in Brad Lidge, his closer, into a non save situation. This never, ever ends well. He must need the work but I would never do this as a manager. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a pitcher who’s used to coming in to close a game, come into a losing situation or blowout game and give up 3 runs. It always happens.

Greg Norton leads off with a double and Henry Blanco beats out a bunt. It was a really close play, and even though they’ve shown a replay of nearly every at bat prior, no replay here.

Mark Teixeira singled and McCann hit a grand slam, his second home run on the night, blowing the game wide open. See? Happens every time. The guy next to me says the same thing. The Braves score 7 times in the ninth.

Ryan Howard homers to left but it’s a little too late. The Braves take the game 8-2.

Time to go check out Ashburn Alley. There’s a Phillies Wall of Fame and an all time Phillies team. Pete Rose is listed at 1^st base.

The timeline of Philadelphia baseball includes the A’s, who for 40 years or so were by far the better team in the city.

I can’t even name a single Phillies player from that era but I could name several A’s.

Deathtour~!: Shea Stadium, New York

2008-07-25T06:08:00.000-07:00

As I was on my way back to Manhattan, a thought occurred. “Hey, it’s 3 hours before the Mets game tonight. Why not try for the New York doubleheader instead of waiting for tomorrow’s afternoon game.”

So after dropping my Yankees program in my room I headed back out for Queens and Shea Stadium, also in its final season. Flushing is also the grounds of the US Open but I decide against checking it out as I haven’t purchased a ticket to the baseball game yet. To my surprise I was able to get a ticket in the upper deck section behind home plate, which means there must be more tickets available than I thought there would be for a Mets and Phillies game.

Before walking into Shea I take a look at CitiField, the Mets new ballpark next season. It’s miles more impressive looking than their cross town rivals new digs. I love the brick finish and the arches remind me a bit of Ebbets Field. Now if only we could build a replica of the Polo Grounds.

Shea looks much like Dodger Stadium and early Candlestick, which were all built in the same era. It’s one of the few 4 level stadiums in baseball and circular design of the lower level seating were designed to swivel based on what was being played, baseball or football. Since 1983, when the Jets moved to Giants Stadium, the Mets have been the sole tenants of Shea.

Since I have a seat behind home plate I decided to sit in the very last row. You can’t sit any further or higher than where I’m sitting.

The atmosphere at this game is electric. Philadelphia is only an hour and a half by train and there a tons of Phillie fans at the game. I saw a few Phillie fans at Yankee Stadium and a couple of Twins hats here so I must not be the only one who thought to watch two games today.

When the lineups were announced Mets fans booed through the entire Phillies lineup while the Philadelphia fans booed through the entire Mets lineup. Each group of fans is attempting to out do the other.

After the Phillies went down in order in the first Bret Myers conceded 4 consecutive walks and a fielder’s choice to bring in 2 runs for the Mets without giving up a hit. A kid in front of me, who’s sitting with a friend that’s a Phillies fan, is doing a brilliant job of heckling Myers. His friend doesn’t look too happy.

The Phillies come back in the second with back to back home runs and now it’s the Phillies fans turn to heckle the Mets fans. There’s dueling chants going on right now.

Myers walks a 5^th batter and hits the next one. Still no hits.

And just as I say that the Mets get their first hit. After 3 innings the Mets have 3 runs on 2 hits.

I’m getting cold up here. It looks like it might rain. According to the score board they’re in a rain delay in Baltimore so there’s a system coming through the northeast.

Jose Reyes breaks a tie in the sixth with a three run home run and the big apple comes up. Myers was taken out after five innings due to pitch count. He had settled down after the third. A ‘Jose, Jose, Jose, Jose’ chant to the tune of ‘Ole, ole, ole, ole’ breaks out. That’s cool.

Billy Wagner comes out in the ninth to save the game. Mets win and the New York teams sweep the day night double header. From here I have to ride the wave of fans taking the train back to the city. It’s still rockin’ as Mets and Phillies fans are still going at it with the chants. And right on cue it starts pouring rain.

Deathtour~!: Yankee Stadium, New York

2008-07-25T05:49:00.000-07:00

After the night game in Baltimore it was an early wake up call to catch Amtrak up to New York for the afternoon Yankee game in the Bronx. I rode up and checked into my hotel, a dive right in the middle of Times Square, without any delays, and after taking a few minutes to figure out New York’s subway system, rode out to the Bronx for my first and last taste of The House That Ruth Built.

If Wrigley is a 1930s baseball experience, Yankee Stadium is the 1970s baseball experience. Hard seats with no cup holders, an old electronic scoreboard, a run down PA system, and a cramped concession area gives you the sensation of standing in an antique. These are more than a few of the reasons they’re replacing this stadium with a more modern yet almost identical looking facility, even down to the boring prison-like exterior.

New York is still pretty paranoid. They asked to see my cell phone. It doesn’t look like anybody is allowed to bring in backpacks and they’ve also banned sunscreen, which is just indefensible. After getting through the gate I slowly make my way behind home plate. It doesn’t look as though they are checking tickets so I sneak a peek at the lower level. Batting practice is just about to wrap up.

It’s 30 minutes before game time and I need something to eat. I’ll I’ve had today is iced coffee at Penn Station in Baltimore. There’s a nice café area behind home. Beer is $9. That’s outrageous but it’s a sporting event. You could price beer at $20 and it would sell.

I’m all the way up in the upper deck in right field. Not too bad, but I can’t see the right field foul line and I can barely read the right field scoreboard at this angle. Flipping through the Yankees’ program, there’s a story on Jose Molina. I’ve lost track of how many Molina brothers are catching in the big leagues. At some point I think all 30 teams will have one.

The anthem is played over the PA system after the Yankees partially take the field. The bleacher roll call goes out. Nice. I'm not sure if you can make it out in the picture, but there's a metal fence above the left part of the Modell sign. A guy next to me was saying that it was recently put up after A-Rod hit a home run off the yellow above the sign that was ruled in play by the umpire. The fence is designed so that when a ball hits it, it will make a different noise.

Monument Park is out in left field in front of the visiting bullpen. It doesn’t look like you can walk through it during the game. I would have liked to see DiMaggio and Berra’s plaques.

Mussina’s on a roll today. Every strikeout brings a chorus of ‘Mooooooooose’ from the crowd.

The Yanks finally wake up in fifth and score twice.

Alexi Castilla lines a double past the diving Richie Sexton at first. Sexton is 10 feet tall and that’s second time he’s come up short diving to prevent a ball from going into the outfield. He has the range of a sloth.

The grounds crew comes out and performs YMCA. The Seattle crew's Thriller dance was better.

Mussina has a shutout through 8 innings and a five run lead but he’s hit the magical 100 pitch count which in 2008 means you’re out of the game.

LaTroy Hawkins, former Giant for a brief period, comes in and does his job by giving up a run and three hits creating a save situation for Rivera. So now I can say I saw future Hall of Famer Mariano Rivera save a game at Yankee stadium.

Rivera strikes out the only batter he saw, Jason Kubel, to end the game. "Yankees win! The Yankees win!"

Deathtour~!: Camden Yards, Baltimore

2008-07-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

Perhaps even more ambitious and stressful than traveling to 8 games in 7 cities over a 12 day period (not including the 13^th day for travel) which I just completed two weeks ago, is covering 7games in 1 week in 6 cities. That’s a game a day without interruption journeying to a new city every day except for the two days I’ll be spending in New York. It’s exhausting. And I’m just watching the games. I can’t imagine the additional toll having to play through all this travel must be like. It must be worse for circus performers, although that’s neither here nor there.

I never make things easy for myself, or so it seems, and my Northeast trip begins with a long day of travel from early morning to evening, followed by a game at Camden Yards at night. I’m scheduled to take off from San Francisco at 7:25am and land in Baltimore at 5:25pm, giving me a scant 90 minutes to make it to downtown Baltimore, check in to my room and head to the game. I managed to coerce a friend into driving me to SFO at 5:30 in the morning so I don’t have to worry about lugging my bags from home to Muni to BART at God-awful early in the morning.

I have a layover in Phoenix. I don’t have to change planes but we’re told that there’s a hold on all Northeast flights due to thunderstorms. Uh-oh. A woman near me just hopes to make it to Baltimore in time for the game. Me too. I wonder if we’re thinking about the same game. I strike up a conversation with her about baseball. Turns out she’s on a baseball group tour. Coincidentally we’ll be at Camden and Yankee Stadium on the same days. She’s also going to Cooperstown. I’m jealous. And she works at Pac Bell Park, but not near my section (121). I’m really jealous.

I got to Camden at the middle of the first. It’s the first time I’ve missed the first pitch all season. I had 40 minutes to get from the airport to the hotel to the game. It just wasn’t going to happen. On the upside I missed the anthem. On the downside I missed the Canadian anthem. I also lost my Panthers hat. I was in such a rush to get to the game that I forgot I’d removed it from my head in the taxi I took from the airport to the hotel. I should also note that I nearly forgot my Passport at home this morning, remembering to grab it at the very last second as I conducted a mental check of everything I had as I was locking the front door. I also haven’t eaten anything. But the game will turn the day around.

Camden Yards is a sweet looking field. It’s the park that started the flood of new ballparks and the influence it had is visible just about everywhere. It has the brick finish of Pac Bell and New Busch. The Centerfield scoreboard reminds me of Comerica in Detroit, the bullpen in Anaheim. San Diego does the warehouse behind right field one better by using it to determine the dimensions of the field.

Out front is a statue of baseball’s most legendary figure, Babe Ruth, possibly the most famous person ever born in Baltimore. The Orioles gallery of retired numbers is also outside the main gate, which are, in fact, actual numbers with a plaque naming the player the number was retired for.

At some point Cal has to get a statue here, right? Unless he already has one at an entrance I didn’t pass.

It’s a thin crowd. Looks to be about 14,000. I bought an upper deck ticket in left field out of the sun. What’s nice about a small crowd is you can move around wherever you want almost. At least in the upper level where there are entire sections with just a few people. Just for kicks I’m going to move to a new seat every few innings.

An ad runs on the scoreboard for the Virgin Music Festival with such acts as Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots and the Foo Fighters. Is it 1996 again? I’m pretty sure turn back the clock night is tomorrow here.

I start to move around in the middle of the third. A short trip down the stairs puts me right behind the bullpen. They have it roped off so you can’t walk right up to it. This was as close as I could get. I managed to snap this right as Brian Tallet was looking at me.

After three innings it’s 4-0 Orioles. The home team is winning! Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about the curse. For some reason this has the feeling of a really long game. I hope not. I have a 5:30 wake up call for my train to New York in the morning.

Top of the fifth and it’s time to move around again. I still haven’t eaten anything. I pass up a Crabcake sandwich in favor of a burger and fries (huge mistake, I know). It took forever and by the time I took my new seat in right field it was STILL the top of the fifth and the Orioles were making a pitching change. The score: Toronto 5, Baltimore 4.

I’m sitting in a section all by myself. I’ve always wanted to do this. The Orioles come right back in the bottom of the fifth to take a 7-6 lead. Both starting pitchers are out of the game.

They showed a blooper reel which is mandatory at every game now. It’s only worth mentioning here because half the clips were of the Giants, which, given how bad they’ve been doesn’t sound surprising, except that these clips were of the Giants’ Ball Dudes^TM.

Apparently this section is closed. I guess that explains why no one was sitting here. I’ve been asked to move to the next section over which is literally 15 feet to my left. It seems rather pointless and silly but that’s what I do.

After a single and a walk the Orioles make another pitching change. Alberto Castillo immediately gives up a three run homerun and relinquishes the lead to Toronto. But he won’t be credited with a loss if this score holds up. That unfortunate blemish goes to his predecessor, Francisco Cabrera, who gave up the walk. This scoring rule has always seemed completely illogical to me. If you give up the winning hit, shouldn’t you get the loss? Cabrera gets credit for holding the lead while he was in but loses the game because the next guy couldn’t get the job done. Makes no sense.

The PA guy says that Orioles fans are the best fans in baseball, but he’s lying because the wave has started, which is an automatic disqualification in the “best fans” category. Also, a USA chant. I don’t know who that’s directed at. I’m pretty sure most of the Blue Jays players are Americans.

The Orioles score a run and load the bases in the ninth but fall short. BJ Ryan earns a ‘save’ for his ‘effort’ and once again the road team prevails. At this point I’m expecting to be shot by a deranged Yankee fan from the board before tomorrow’s game.

Deathtour~!: Miller Park, Milwaukee

2008-07-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

Is there a better way to celebrate the 4^th of July than tailgating at a baseball game and enjoying America’s pastime? I submit that there is not. And so that’s what a I did, along with Jon (here for his third appearance on the tour), Brewtown Andy (making a second cameo) Jim and Jess (their first and only game on the tour). These fantastic four comprise the largest group I’ve had at a game with me and given the occasion tailgating seemed like the perfect idea and I have Andy to thank for that. When I first proposed the idea of the deathtour, Milwaukee was one of the places I was most excited to watch a game at. Not because I care for the team but because I’d been wanting to get up there to see Jim and Andy (and the sausage race which I’ll get to later). As it turns out Andy must have been equally excited. He offered to pay for my ticket if I tried to eat for the cycle. I’d been determined to pay for anyone who came to a game with me but he offered and eating for the cycle was a challenge I couldn’t pass up.

For the uninitiated, eating for the cycle is similar to hitting for the cycle in baseball. The baseball cycle includes a single, double, triple and home run. Eating for the cycle includes a hot dog, Polish sausage, Italian sausage and Bratwurst. We set up in the parking lot at 11:30, two hours before game time, giving me plenty of time finish all 4. Pacing is very important for this so any extra time is always welcomed. I started off with a hot dog a little while later devoured an Italian Sausage enjoying the games of catch and carnival atmosphere between bites.

We went through the gates shortly before game time, passing Hank Aaron’s statue just outside the main gate. Aaron played only 1 season with the Brewers, his last, but he did spend the bulk of his career playing in Milwaukee, for the Braves. Like many other cities that have had teams come and go, Milwaukee celebrates the history of all those franchises, not just its current one. Aaron’s statue fittingly bears the Braves logo. Opposite Aaron is a second statue, this one for Brewers Hall of Famer Robin Yount, which we passed on our way out.

We’ve got great seats for this game on the third base side, even better than my usual spot back home. And what’s more, Brewtown paid less for these than I paid for our Nose bleed seats at Wrigley last week. I suppose that’s the advantage of small town baseball. It’s also 1000 degrees down here. The shade is all on the first base side of the stands but it’s slowly creeping towards us.

Ben Sheets, the Brewers ace, is pitching today. The streak is in jeopardy.

The Pirates threaten with runners at the corners in the first. Sheets tries the third to first pickoff. Never has this been more of a failure. Jason Michaels, taking his lead from third, didn’t so much as flinch towards third. I’ve never seen this move work. Ever. And I don’t know anyone who’s seen it work either. And if ever anyone tells you they’ve seen it work, they’re lying.

Bill Hall blasts a two run homer in the bottom of the second giving the Brew Crew the lead. Bernie Brewer, Milwaukee’s mascot, takes a ride on his slide. If the Brewers don’t homer in a game does he just stand up there from beginning to end?

It’s still unbearably hot. And my giant lemonade isn’t helping. I seek the shade in the concessions and wander around. It’s time for number three on the food cycle. I don’t think my stomach is going to hold up and given the choice between a Brat and a Polish Sausage, I’m taking the Brat. I can’t come here and say I didn’t have a Brat.

The Brewers score 5 in the 5^th, blowing the game wide open. Andy and Jon are giving me dirty looks. Hey, I can’t be counted on to curse the home team 100% of the time. They disagree. I think they’re forming a committee to determine what went wrong here today.

It’s been determined that Andy paying for my ticket is the cause of the curse being broken. Good work team.

After six it’s Brewers 9, Pirates 1. More importantly it’s time for the main event of the trip. After 8 games in 12 days I finally get to watch what I really took this trip for; a 30 second race between 5 people dressed as sausages. And I’ve been told this is absolutely legit. The race is contested between a Bratwurst, an Italian Sausage, a Polish Sausage, a Hot Dog and a Chorizo, which sounds like a made up name to me. It goes without saying that I’m pulling for the Italian.

Aaaand they’re off. The Chorizo, Polish Sausage and Brat pull out in front mixing it up for positioning. Hot Dog and the Italian are lagging behind. They’ve turned the corner at home plate. It’s a three sausage race now. The Chorizo pulls ahead. He’s going to win.

The Italian and Hot Dog are about 15 links behind. The Italian Sausage trips. How embarrassing. Not so much for him but because he was my pick to win.

It’s the 4^th so I have to endure God Bless America before we get to Take Me Out to the Ballgame and Roll Out the Barrel.

The game ends 9-1. We were about 30 minutes away from shade. I just hope I’m not as burned as I was in LA.

It’s the last day on this leg of the tour and we’ve got a whole gang here, so why not a group shot?!

As we were taking the group picture, guess who came running down to our section? I don’t know why I marked out like I did.

It's over already? Where did the day go?

Deathtour~!: New(ish) Comiskey Park, Chicago

2008-07-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

A week after baking in the blistering heat of Wrigley, it’s time to hop on the red line and head south to New(ish) Comiskey Park, now called US Cellular Field, and finish off the Windy City for the season. Joining me once again is Jon Dye who was kind enough to let me keep my stuff with him while I took a detour to Cincinnati yesterday. I’ve spent this entire trip in shorts. It’s been that hot. If you added up the number of days I’ve worn shorts in the past 5 years I don’t think it would be more than the number of days I’ve worn shorts in the past 2 weeks. Tonight it’s cooled down but not enough to make me change back to my familiar jeans or grab my sweatshirt. I hope I don’t regret this.

We arrived on the South Side 30 minutes before the first pitch amongst an enthusiastic crowd. The Sox are the less beloved yet more successful franchise of Chicago. They lack the national fan base that the Cubs enjoy and they’re not the media darlings the north-siders are either, but at least they can claim a few World Series crowns in the past 100 years.

The cheapest seats are $21 in the upper deck. That seems a bit steep after visiting Cincinnati where my upper deck seats were only $14 and bleacher seats were $7! So my wallet is $42 lighter when we pass though the gate. Before we head up I want to take a look around at field level but I’m halted by this…

…seriously?! Segregation in 2008! I guess they don’t want us poor schmucks intermingling with the elite of the South Side. More reason to hate Jerry Reinsdorf.

Okay, the game hasn’t started and I’m already regretting sticking with the shorts. To make matters worse the concession we went to was out of hot chocolate. I settled for pizza which was comparable to a decent microwavable pizza.

The only benefit to having upper deck seats tonight is getting to sit where ever we want within the top level seats. After finding some prime seats in the front row of the right field corner and filling out my scorecard I go on a search for another concession stand with hot chocolate. I find one near by. I have a feeling I’ll be coming back for seconds, thirds, fourths and fifths before the game ends.

We’ve got a great view of the outfield promenade from our seats. Looks like a lot of fun down there…

Sox starter Javier Vasquez strikes out the side in the top of the first and the offense scores twice in the bottom half on a home run and 2 doubles. Jon’s unhappy with me since supposedly I’m not doing my job of bringing the home team bad luck. I remind him it’s only the first inning, the A’s have plenty of time to come back.

Vasquez strikes out the side again in the third! He has 7 Ks through three. He’s single-handedly trying to break the curse. As a reminder the home team is 0-6 on this road trip and 2-11 overall.

It looks plenty warmer out there.

At the beginning of the forth inning I decide to walk around the stadium, at least the parts that I can. The concession area is a bit warmer and I need a refill on my drink. Anything to get away from my cold, hard seat. When I get back, the A’s have tied the game up after a hit-batsman and a homerun.

I take another timeout to walk around. I’m absolutely freezing up here, to the point that I’m considering buying a White Sox jacket or sweatshirt. I think better of it after stepping into the team shop and taking a look at the prices. Given the choice between paying $100 for a coat and freezing I’m choosing freezing.

I get back to my seat and it’s 3-2 A’s. Jon (a noted Cubs fan) is happy and I’ve missed every run for the visiting team so far. If the key to the A’s success is that I have to leave my seat, that’s fine with me.

I can’t take this wind anymore. We decide to head to the opposite side of the stadium where the wind will be at our backs. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner.

This has been a fantastic pitching duel so far. After 7 the A’s have 3 runs on only 4 hits. The White Sox have 2 runs on 5 hits. Both Duchscherer for the A’s and Vasquez for the Sox could go the distance. The A’s need insurance runs so I take a powder to the concessions.

About the only interesting feature of the upper level is a photo mural of the White Sox history from the beginning of the previous century to the present day. The Sox have the bizarre distinction of donning my favorite and least favorite classic jerseys. The 1919 “Black Sox” team has my favorite look in baseball. The colors, the logo, the way in which they wore them – it’s a flawless look. Conversely the mid 80s unis are the worst I’ve ever seen. The 80s had a lot of really awful looking uniforms but this is the worst. It’s even worse than the candy corn Astros shirts.

The Classic 1919 team.

The worst uniform in baseball.

The modern look.

At least they’ve gone back to a more classic look with the 30s style emblem and home white with black pinstripes. You can’t go wrong with that. They should never change this look (unless they plan on going back to that 1919 team jersey).

Vasquez puts the A’s down in the ninth. Unless Chicago scores in the bottom of the ninth he’s in the hook for a complete game loss.

Huston Street gives up a single but strikes out the next two batters to end the game. That makes 7 straight for the road team. The odds of watching 7 straight road wins is staggeringly low. It’s like flipping a coin 7 times and having it come up tails every time. It’s an impossible improbability. There’s no way Pittsburgh makes it a complete sweep tomorrow in Milwaukee, is there?

Deathtour~!: Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati

2008-07-04T18:33:00.000-07:00

5:10pm – The gates to Great American Ballpark open and I’m the first one through the turnstile. I’m like Charlie in Wonka’s factory. I’ve got the whole place to myself (almost). And batting practice has just started.

5:20pm – I’ve got front row seats!...in the upper deck. I’ve never had the pleasure of sitting in the front front row but I justify it by choosing to believe the view is better from up here. I take a look around and I’m completely alone. I’ve got the entire top level to myself. At least for the next 30 minutes or so.

5:25pm – This Reds team has a few things in common with the Giants. Both are teams with a wealth of history behind them. Both built fabulous new parks on a waterfront. And both feature bad teams led by one of the best players of their generation. In this case, their future Hall of Famer is still playing and continues to achieve milestone after milestone. Centerfield features a Ken Griffey home run counter, stuck on 603, six four-baggers away from Sammy Sosa.

5:27pm – Just to the left of the Griffey counter is the centerfield hitter’s eye which incorporates Cincinnati’s steamboats into the design. Neat!

5:32pm – As I’m sitting alone in the second deck watching BP a thought occurs. Why aren’t I sitting in the bleachers for this?!

5:40pm – Much better. The right field bleachers are separated into two decks. The second level is the only one that features actual bleacher style seating. I position myself a few feet from the left field foul pole. Again, I find myself alone. Everyone else has chosen to shag home runs in the lower level of the outfield seats. If anything comes up here I can just walk to pick up the ball.

5:45pm – This close! *holds up fingers* One of the Pirate hitters smacked a ball that hit the front row of the bleachers 15 feet to my left. It clanged off the bench and ricocheted back down to the first level before I could get there. In all likelihood that is the closest I’ll come to catching a ball on the tour. But you never know…

6:00pm – Nothing else comes close to reaching the bleachers for the remainder of batting practice and I continue my walk around Great American Ballpark. By know my shoulders are feeling fatigued from lugging my backpack around all day. It’s hot and I’m thirsty, but not so much hungry despite not having a meal all day. Strange, considering my level of activity for the day.

6:05pm – A root beer float at a baseball game?! Awesome. Additionally I pick up a sausage on my way back to my seat.

6:15pm – The wait continues for game time. The grounds crew prepares the field and a few others have joined in the upper deck. It’s still an hour from game time but it’s looking like we’re going to have a small crowd tonight.

6:25pm – Waaaay to much Lenny Kravitz being played right now.

6:35pm – Cheerleaders in baseball?! There’s no cheerleaders in baseball! I’m so upset about this I couldn’t even be bothered to get pictures of them.

6:54pm – “They’ll come, Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom.” 20 minutes from game time and they play one of the greatest scenes from Field of Dreams, James Earl Jones’ monologue as the old ballplayers stand behind him. That scene gives me chills and I need to watch the whole film when I get back home.

7:10pm – And on the first pitch of the game Nate McLouth lines a double down the right field line.

7:16pm – 6 minutes in and we’ve got our first visit to the mound. It’s 2-0 with no outs in the top of the first.

7:20pm – Bases loaded now and still nobody out. There’s bullpen activity. Reds’ starter Daryl Thompson may not last an inning, or an out for that matter.

7:29pm – Somehow Thompson survived but it’s 4-0 Pirates before the Reds even come up. Do I need to mention that the visiting team is unbeaten on this road trip?

7:30pm – Who designs a scorecard with no place to put the inning totals?!

7:54pm – Neither pitcher wants to win this game. VanBenschoten, Pittsburgh’s starter, gives up 4 in the second and Cincy takes a 5-4 lead. Could they break the streak?

8:03pm – And the Pirates tie it right back up in the third. This has the feeling of a game determined by whose bullpen holds up.

8:09pm – Griffey flies out for the second time. I have not rooting interest in the game but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t rooting for Griffey to knock one into the right field seats.

8:12pm – Brandon Philips hits a one out double and we have our first pitching change. Van Benschoten’s line: 2.1 innings, 5 hits, 5 runs, 45 pitches. I’m sure Thompson won’t last much longer too.

8:40pm – Thompson and the game look to have settled down. After that rough first inning Thompson’s only giving up one hit, a homer by Xavier Nady. This is one of the quietest crowds I’ve been a part of.

8:42pm – Of course, just as I write that Doumit singles and Nady hits a second home run. There’s activity in the bullpen and I get the feeling we’re about to experience Dusty’s patented slowest pitching change in baseball.

8:45pm – Sure enough, Paul Bako walks out to the mound to chat with his pitcher. He spends the entire time looking at the dugout. Finally, after he’s asked Thompson what his plans are after the game, he walks back to the plate. He’s almost back in his crouch when Baker makes a move out of the dugout. Thompson’s line: 4.1 innings, 8 hits, 7 runs, 90 pitches. A very Barry Zitoesque performance.

8:55pm – Griffey raises his paltry .238 batting average with a single in the fifth. With all the injuries he’s suffered he’s become a shell of his hall of fame self. I’m thinking he hangs it up after this season. You’ve had a great career Ken, you have nothing left to prove.

8:58pm – Wow, this crowd is dead. They gave almost no response to the “Make Some Noise” prompt on the big screen.

9:15pm – Both ‘pens have performed well. Pittsburgh’s in line to make it 6-0 for the road teams.

9:28pm – Top of the seventh and we’ve got a second Dusty switch. I don’t know why he does it. Majewski’s completely warmed up in the bullpen.

10:00pm – Griffey, Philips and Dunn go quietly in the bottom of the eighth. The small crowd gets even smaller and a few idiots two sections to my right try to get a wave going. Thankfully, they are unsuccessful

10:02pm – I spoke to soon. The entire stadium is doing the wave. Can’t we ban this already? I’m writing my congressman when I get home.

10:14pm – Tyler Yates closes it in the bottom of the ninth. The road team is now 6-0. I have a feeling the White Sox have no shot tomorrow night, no matter how hard they try. Just a few hours left in Cincinnati before I take the train back to Chicago.

22 Hours in Cincinnati~!

2008-07-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

22 hours in Cincinnati! 3am to 1am. Sleep on the way there and on the way back. That was the plan as I drew it up. Theoretically, a nine hour train ride overnight should give me plenty of time to sleep for a 22 hour marathon day on the Ohio-Kentucky border. Alas, only in my dreams would this ever happen. It was a foolhardy, half-cocked plan that never had a chance of success.

4:05am – The train arrives in Cincinnati, three-quarters of an hour behind schedule which pleases only me. I have no where to go until a Starbucks opens up and the late arrival gives me just enough time to wander into downtown just in time for the doors to open at 5am without wasting time at the station.

4:15am – I have an address but no directions to downtown. I piece together the necessary information from a series of maps in the yellow pages and leave the station. It’s then that I realize, “hey, downtown has tall buildings, why don’t you just walk towards them, you idiot.”

4:50am – I get to the Starbucks with ten minutes to spare. A quick glance inside gives me bad news. There’s no one there. Speaking from experience, this is not a good sign with 10 minutes to the open. With nothing to do I begin to walk around the area. The ballpark is just down the street so I go to check it out.

5:05am - I don't really have anything to see here, I just really liked the name Salmon Portland Chase.

5:15am – Back at the Starbucks and the Shift is just now arriving. I know it’ll be about 20 minutes from now when they open so I inquire as to where the nearest store is. It’s just two blocks away.

5:30am – I make myself comfortable. I rarely get drip coffee but I’m going to need it if I’m going to make it through 22 hours. I plan on staying in the store until 9 when everything starts to open up. And it gives me plenty of time to catch up on my blog.

6:30am – So much for that plan. I didn’t even last 3 hours. I know I’m not going to make it without crashing so I quickly check online for the closest hotels. It’ll cost me, but I need a few hours of peaceful sleep.

7:00am – I check into the Hyatt. Hotels.com listed a room at $160 but they give me a day rate at only $80 which, considering what I was expecting to pay, feels like I’m getting away with larceny.

12:00pm – After 5 hours of sleep, I’m well rested enough to make it through the rest of the day. I want to get out to see the sights but I still need to finish up my blog report for the Twins game on Monday so I schlep back down to Starbucks to post my recap.

2:00pm – Kentucky is one of the states I’ve never been to and Cincinnati is right on the border. Newport lies just on the other side via a series of bridges including the Purple Pedestrian Bridge. A tourist type shopping center, similar to Pier 39, is right on the Ohio River. The main attraction is the Newport Aquarium.

2:15pm – Newport Aquarium. This reminds me, I can’t wait for the new California Academy of Sciences to open up in September. Aside from the planetarium, it wasn’t all that great. The Aquarium especially was outdated. The Newport version is pretty solid. Some highlights: The Monkeyface Prickleback. I went to school with a guy named Monkeyface Prickleback. He was a short fellow with long hair and frequently mumbled. He was known for eating two cafeteria lunches a day, except on alternate Fridays and was completely uncoordinated with the exception of juggling swords.

There’s an eel exhibit. I can’t see an eel without being reminded of the classic scene from The Princess Bride.

The Alligator Snapper is not an alligator, but rather a turtle. It lives up to 150 years and its diet consists of “just about everything.” So much for learning the secret to longevity.

The giant Isopod lives on the ocean floor and has 3,500 eyes which “scientists believe serve no function,” which is carny for “we have no idea what they’re for but we’re scientists so we have to make up a reason.”

There was a cool tank that went over the top of the walkway. Supposedly there were stingrays in the tank but I waited 10 minutes for nothing. Thankfully the next tank produced better results.

Feeding time at the Gintoo Penguin tank. There were no Chin-strap Penguins (or Strap-on Penguins).

3:00pm – I’m going back to Ohio. But unlike the Pretenders song, the city is still there.

3:10pm - I was told Mt. Adams is the closest thing the Midwest has to San Francisco so that’s my next destination, but I’m having the most difficult time figuring out how to cross a maze of highways.

3:30pm – I’ve reached as close to the summit of Mt. Adams as I’m going to get. It’s a decent view but doesn’t beat anything from back home. It’s a nice looking neighborhood. Reminds me a bit of Glen Park.

4:10pm – I think it took me longer to get down the hill than up it. I head back to the yard to visit the Reds Hall of Fame. Unlike other ballparks where the team’s history is contained within the gates, the Reds Hall is a separate building and requires paid admission (except to military and veterans).

4:25pm – I haven’t gotten past the first room when the fire alarm goes off. Everyone in the room gives each other that confused “do we have to leave?” look before lollygagging out of the building. It’s just like a high school fire drill.

4:30pm – It’s only 5 minutes before we’re let back in. The Hall is a really great exhibit. It’s educational, fun, hands on and kid friendly. There are pitching, umpiring and announcing activities for kids, videos, a history of baseball and the game’s oldest pro team and a team hall of fame which includes one noticeable omission, Pete Rose. Despite being mentioned in almost every area of the building, he has no plaque in the Hall.

Expelled for selling beer at a baseball game?!

Marge Schott's chair. I can't believe this wasn't burned in a bonfire when she died. I'm tempted to take it and do just that.

5:10pm – I’m out of the team Hall of Fame. The gates have just opened and I’m one of the first ones in. You can read my game report here.

10:15pm – Just a few more hours until I’m safely on the train back to Chicago. I stop in at the same Starbucks I walked to this morning before I try and navigate my way back to the Cincinnati Museum Center.

11:05pm – Back where I started my day. Just two hours here before I can (attempt) to fall asleep on the train. It’s been a grueling 22 hours (17 if you don’t include the stop at the Hyatt). I’m dreaming of home and my bed. Just 3 more nights until I’m there.

Deathtour~!: Metrodome, Minneapolis

2008-07-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

5:45pm – After checking in and getting settled in my hotel room I left for the game, making sure I had my camera, feeling for it every few seconds in my right pocket, as I walked the downtown streets of Minneapolis.

5:52pm – Tickets were available in every section but after Wrigley I needed to save some money. In 11 games I haven’t sat in the bleachers yet so I got a ticket for what is referred to here as the Home Run Porch. There are no bleacher style benches in the Metrodome, just section after section of dark blue single seats. But regardless of type of seat my butt is planted in or what they choose to call it, these are the bleachers.

5:55pm – I decided to walk around the exterior of the dome. Why? I have no idea. It looks identical from all sides.

6:02pm – I finally went in and found my section. Since the field is completely obstructed from the concourse this was my first look at the field and the inside of the dome, which reminds me of those inflatable houses that kids jump around in. I wonder if I can pay to get up there and jump on top of the dome. I’m sure that sounds like more fun than it would be.

6:04pm – The Tigers are still taking batting practice. And, hey, I’m sitting in the bleachers. The sixth row, no less! Maybe I’ll catch something. I should have brought a glove.

6:06pm – Okay. I’m losing every single pop fly in the dome. I can’t see a thing. Every time I see a ball coming towards the bleachers I find myself looking for cover. And I notice a couple of Tigers doing the same in centerfield. Luckily it appears I’m sitting a section or two down from all the action. Sitting more towards left center there aren’t any making out to me.

6:15pm – BP is over so I decide to scour the concourse for some decent food. I haven’t had anything since I was at the airport and I’m unlikely to get a solid meal after the game.

6:21pm – Bingo. Found what I was looking for: a roast beef sandwich. And they make it right in front of you! Throw some barbeque sauce and mayo on it and you’re all set.

6:26pm – Back to my section. My seat is in the sixth row but I decide to hang back in the very last row of the section. I have the entire row to myself and what’s more, there’s no way anything is reaching me up here, so losing a ball in the ceiling won’t be a problem.

6:35pm – Pre-game entertainment. 3 fans try to lob a ball through a hole in a Subway sign hanging between the first and second decks in right field to win a prize. This is followed by a race around the bases by 5 costumed geeks dressed as fish. The race is won by Harvey Killer Fish. Hey, I don’t make the names.

6:50pm – We’ve had three first pitches tossed. How can we have three ceremonial first pitches? By definition only one of them can be first. Am I wrong?

6:58pm – Another perfunctory performance of the anthem by another high school choir. As I’m standing I notice a giant Canadian flag on the far side of the field. The sight of the Maple Leaf brings feelings of giddy anticipation for my eventual trip to Toronto. O Canada is a fantastic song. I should have tried booking a few Toronto road games just to hear it.

7:08pm – The Twins take the field to an atrocious theme song. I’m having flashbacks of the San Diego (Super)Chargers theme. *Shiver*

7:10pm – First pitch and we’re under way.

7:12pm – Edgar Renteria opens the game with pop fly down the line. Denard Span makes a fantastic sliding catch down the line. I’m glad he saw it because I completely lost the ball in the ceiling. I’m glad I’m not a ballplayer. The only other stadium I had this problem at was Dodger Stadium.

7:17pm – Alexi Casilla reaches on what is generously being called a single. A throwing error allows him to take second. There’s no way he would have beaten an accurate throw. A prime example of hometown scorekeeping.

7:20pm – The Twins take an early lead on a single by Justin Morneau.

7:24pm – Placido Polanco makes a leaping catch at second to end the inning and prevent a another run. Still, the Twins are up and I’m beginning to think about my hometown curse.

7:30pm – Marcus Thames ties it up with a bomb to the football seats in right field. The Metrodome has the absolute worst outfield fence in baseball. It’s just a giant tarp stretching from center to right. They don’t even have a yellow line to define what is and isn’t a homerun.

7:56pm – The Tigers make a defensive switch, removing Miguel Cabrera from the game. I’m assuming an injury but they don’t announce those things over the PA. It’s the only thing that’s lost by not watching the game at home. Maybe I should bring a radio to these games.

8:02pm – Galarraga throws a pitch to the backstop followed by a pitch inside which prompts a warning to both teams. For whatever reason, Twins skipper Ron Gardenhire comes running out like a freight train to argue this. I’m guessing its because he isn’t being given a chance to retaliate. I’d use the ‘It’s the only thing that’s lost by not watching the game at home’ line but I already used it. So it’s the second thing lost by not watching the game at home. I hope this doesn’t turn into a recreation of the Spanish Inquisition sketch. Anyway, Gardenhire must really have had better things to do because he got tossed in about 15 seconds and the standing ovation he got coming out to argue quickly turned to boos.

8:10pm - The Twins retake the lead.

8:30pm - Inbetween innings they continue the countdown to the new Twins stadium in 2010. 117 home games remaining over the next season and a half.

8:37pm – Some guys in the bleachers – excuse me, The Home Run Porch – are trying to get The Wave started. And these fans had been great up to this point.

9:02pm – Tigers manager Jim Leland comes out to argue a blooper which looked like a catch in right center that was ruled a trap. It resulted in a double and another run for the Twins. Leland is out there far longer than Gardenhire was but doesn’t join his counterpart in the clubhouse.

9:22pm – Twins bench coach Steve Liddle uses 4 pitchers to get 3 outs in the 7^th inning. Somewhere in St. Louis Tony LaRussa sheds a tear of joy. The Twins get the outs but give up two runs and they look like they’re trying to blow this game. Come on guys, just two more innings.

9:45pm – The bullpen gives up two more in the top of the eigth and the Tigers have the lead. Unbelievable. The home team just can’t win when I’m there. A guess this saves me from watching Joe Nathen close it out. He’s on the cover of the Twins program and reading the article on him was depressing. I don’t need to be reminded of the Giants worst trade in 40 years.

9:52pm – We’re in the bottom of the 8^th in a one run game and the Home Run Porch crowd is attempting another wave. All I can do is shake my head.

10:15pm – Joel Zumaya shuts the doors on the Twins with 2 strikeouts in the bottom of the ninth. The home team record on the deathtour is now 2-10. Everyone files out quickly but I take my time to snap a few pics of the Twins hall of retired numbers. Kent "I'd like to buy a vowel" Hrbek, Harmon "Cardcarrying member of the Skrull" Killebrew (Chris Berman would be proud of that one) and Kirby Puckett.

The Reds are going to need a lot of luck with me in the crowd to break the streak. Next up: 22 Hours In Cincinnati!

Deathtour~!: Wrigley Field, Chicago

2008-06-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

Wrigley Field is an experience unlike any other in baseball. Over 90 years old, Wrigley is a living relic among the spate of modern ballparks cropping up around the country. It is the gold standard. It is the park by which all other parks are judged. It is the closest you can come to traversing space and time to watch a game in 1925 without the aid of a Delorian. Only a few modern amenities have been added through the years. Lights were not installed until 1989. There are a few luxury boxes that almost hide between the first and second levels. The out of town scoreboard is still hand operated and there is no big screen scoreboard with flashing lights. There is only a modest digital panel under the centerfield scoreboard that displays the batter’s name and few statistics. Most of the music is played on the stadium organ and the PA announcer comes over on a speaker that doesn’t sound like it’s been replaced since 1914. No park blends together with its neighborhood like Wrigley. The surrounding streets are tethered to the game and the team. Cubs gear line the sidewalks. The Church of the Cubs, firm believers for over 100 years, is a few blocks away. And it takes strong faith to continue to believe in something that’s proven to fail for the last 100 years.

Ernie Banks

This is not my first trip to Wrigley. I’ve been twice before, once as a kid and once a couple summers back. Despite my previous trips, or perhaps because of them, I’m looking forward to this game more than any other on my tour. And this time I’m being joined by two lifelong Cubs fans, my buddies Jon Dye and Brewtown Andy. Jon hadn’t been to Wrigley before this season and Brewtown, who as his nickname suggests, lives in Milwuakee and hadn’t been down in over 10 years. Both jumped at the chance to participate on the Deathtour.

Haray Caray

Jon and I took the CTA to the game from Rosemont, a city built on the last of Al Capone’s money, and whose only attraction is a giant convention center. Jon and I were halfway there when I realized I’d forgotten my camera in the hotel lobby. After I didn’t get pictures in Detroit, Andy had joked that this better not happen in Chicago. I sheepishly called him and asked if he had his camera. He had his iPhone. Crisis averted, and with surprisingly no grief thrown at me.

We met up with Andy by the famed Wrigley sign. Once inside I walked around the concessions which have no view of the field and are completely cut off from the bleacher section. Like most older facilities Wrigley seems cramped and more crowded than a modern park. We’re getting bigger as a country and this is the proof. Before walking up to our seats that I overpaid for by an obscene margin we got in line for food and a drink, in my case mostly for a drink. As used to the temperate climate as I am, I can hardly take this 85 degree weather for long. As it turns out Wrigley sells Pepsi products, not Coke, so no buys. Instead I settled for soft serve ice cream.

We find our seats, right on the aisle. I dig into my quickly melting ice cream. “How’s your soup,” Brewtown quips.

They’re announcing the lineups but I can’t hear a thing.

Game time. I still don’t have a scorecard filled out. Brewtown’s also keeping score. This is good news for me as it will give me a chance to walk around without fear of missing anything.

Orioles go up 5 nothing in the 3^rd. I’m calling the game right here. I also begin to think about the home team’s record in games I’ve been too. It’s not very good.

7-0 now. We’re shocked Pinella kept Marquis in the game. He had two guys ready to go in the ‘pen and kept him in after a double scored the two runs.

The Cubs look pretty terrible. Aside from the second when they had the bases loaded, they haven’t had any runners past first base.

Pinella brings in Scott Eyre, former Giant, in the sixth. He’s the third pitcher for the Cubs. The move strikes me as odd in a game where you want a middle reliever to eat up 2 or three innings and Eyre is a lefty specialist.

And just like that Eyre gets hurt which must royally suck for the Cubs. Another pitching change and they’re going to lose their lefty for a while.

Still top of the 6^th and it’s 11-0. Brewtown decides to head to the Cubs shop to pick up a few things for his kids.

Cubs score 3 in the bottom of the 6^th, so at least the fans have something to cheer about. By now I’m about to fall asleep. The week is catching up to me.

Brewtown gets back and I go for a walk. Hopefully it will wake me up. I think some more soft serve ice cream might help.

Wrigley has a tradition of having a celebrity, usually someone local, sing 'Take me out to the ballgame". It's a tradition that dates back to Haray Caray's era when he would lead the crowd during every game. Today, Yosh Kowano, the Cubs version of the Giants' Mike Murphy, led the crowd. Except that I'm not entirely sure he knows a word of the song, or speaks any english at all.

I’m back for the last two innings of this blowout. Brewtown and Jon have turned on me. I’m taking the blame for this loss apparently. Brewtown has banned me from future Wrigley games. Jon wants to go a step further and strangle me.

Deathtour~!: Jacobs Field, Cleveland

2008-06-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

2:30pm - I got in to Cleveland on time after 2 short flights but had to wait forever for my luggage. What’s more it looked like it was beginning to rain on my way in to downtown. With a 4am wake up call the next morning I’m pleading for the weather to hold up for tonight. When I got to my hotel, another Comfort Inn, I was forced to wait in the lobby a few extra minutes while they made sure my room was ready. As I waited around two Giants fans from New York, on a little baseball tour of their own, checked in. It’s always a pleasure to run into Giants fans around the country. After a quick stop and chat I went up to my room.

3:30pm - I take back every negative thought I had about Comfort Inn. What a fine establishment this company is. After suffering through last night they’ve put in a virtual penthouse. I’m heartbroken that I’m only here for one night. A full Jacuzzi and two bedrooms~! What use do I, a single person, have with two rooms? I don’t know, but I’m going to do my best to take full advantage of both of them.

5:45pm – It’s just a quick walk over to Progressive “We Still Call It the Jake” Field. And the weather looks like it’s going to hold. This series with the Giants marks the return to Cleveland for future Hall of Famer Omar Vizqual, several years removed from an Indians jersey yet still enormously popular here. About one in every five jerseys donned by the fans bares his name. A few Tribe fans even have Vizqual’s current jersey which, as a fan, doesn’t seem right to me. I’ll have to consult the Sports Fandom Rulebook to see if that’s allowed.

6:00pm – I have my ticket and I’m through the gate. Just inside are today’s lineup cards posted on the wall, handwritten on a giant scorecard. Brilliant. Every stadium should have this. First on the agenda is locating my seat. First level, thirteenth row, and right next to the left field foul pole. I can practically touch the field from here.

6:12pm – One rotation around and I haven’t seen much of interest. There’s got to be something here, I’m just missing it.

6:19pm – Found it! Heritage Park, behind center field, is the center for all Indians history. A bit out the way, even after I saw the sign for it, it took me a few minutes to figure out how to get there. The team has their own Hall of Fame in a beautifully designed brick courtyard with plaques dedicated to each Indian great. Between the fan purchased bricks are great moments in Indian history. To my delight, Omar has a moment to his credit, and to my surprise, it’s not for his numerous gold gloves.

6:23 - Ray Chapman has a dedication in the Indians Hall. Chapman was a big leaguer in the 1910s. In 1920 he was killed when he was hit by a pitch.

6:29pm – A short flight of stairs away from the Hall is a commemoration of the 100 greatest Indian players over the last 100 years. As expected, Omar’s name is right there. I scan further until another name, one that is completely unexpected, catches my drifting eyes. Duane Kuiper. As I’m laughing with glee on the inside at something that I’m sure amuses only myself, a father standing next to me tells his young kid, “That’s the guy who hit the foul ball I caught when I was twelve.” Nothing illustrates the power of baseball more than moments like this. A kid catches a ball and twenty years later he’s teaching his own kid about a player most fans (outside of Cleveland and San Francisco) don’t even remember. And with that a bit of baseball history is passed down to the next generation.

6:37pm – I go back to my seat, but not before grabbing a hot dog and smothering it with the stadium’s own brand of mustard. I’ve scoured the stadium but nowhere can I find this brand for sale. It must be around in local supermarkets but I don’t have the time to investigate.

6:40pm – Across the field Omar is signing for fans. I’m tempted to join them. I don’t, and I know I’m going to regret that.

6:50pm – Omar’s just wrapping up. He must have signed close to 500 signatures. I hope his wrist is okay for the game.

6:58pm – We have some high school choir out to sing the anthem and if you’ve ever heard a high school choir before you can imagine what this sounded like.

7:15pm – My boys jump out to a quick 2-0 lead. With Zito on the mound we’re going to need every run we can get.

7:20pm – Zito strikes out the first two batters as part of a 1-2-3 inning in the opening frame. Consider me slightly amazed.

7:30pm – Visqual comes up for the first time to a standing ovation. I love watching Omar every day and I couldn’t be happier to have him on the Giants, but after seeing this I know that when he goes to Cooperstown he won’t be wearing the interlocking SF.

7:46pm – “The Anchor” Bengie Molina gets thrown out at second. I know he’s slow, but geez…

7:52pm – Zito’s breezed through the Indians lineup with 3 Ks and only 1 hit allowed.

8:23pm – We’re in the middle of the fifth which means this game is official. Clevelan is the 10^th park I’ve attended which is a 1/3 of the way through. I’m sure that seems more impressive to me than it really is.

8:30pm – Rowand makes a highlight reel catch in center (I refuse to call it a web gem). That out brings Zito’s ERA for the season under 6.00. Let’s see if it stays that way.

8:34pm – End of 5 and we have a hot dog race between people dressed as condiments. Does everyone get their own race now? Is that the new ‘It’ thing? Anyway, one of the condiments (don’t ask which) wins when the other two ‘trip’ over each other. Another worked race. Are any of these legit? Brewtown Andy swears the sausage race in Milwaukee is on the level. We’ll see.

8:48pm – Who’s this guy pitching for the Giants and what has he done with Barry Zito? Through 6 innings the Indians have zero runs and only three hits. This has to be Barry’s best performance as a Giant. It’s certainly in the top 3. The pitch count is going to get him soon though.

9:08pm – Zito gives up a double after getting the first two batters in the 7^th. I hate when Bochy takes out his starters mid-inning after just one hit. Nothing positive ever happens. Yabu is coming in.

9:12pm – Yabu is going out. He faced one batter and gave up one hit and one run (which is charged to Zito after he pitched wonderfully). Brilliant move Boch. I’m of the firm belief that if inherited runners score, they should be charged to the guy who gave up the hit. Let’s hope the rest of the bullpen doesn’t blow it.

9:25pm – We got out of it. Not only that but Bowker got the run back with a blast in the eighth. And almost on cue it’s beginning to rain. A few start to leave. I head for cover to protect the scorecard.

9:32pm – Here’s something you don’t see every day. According to American League rules, if the DH is substituted into the field the pitcher must hit. In a move that completely baffles me, Bochy takes Bowker out at first base and move Aurilia from DH to first. This means that the pitcher is now in the Giants line up in the eighth spot. I’m so caught off guard that I look around to see if anyone else is scratching their head.

9:45pm - Now that's how you stay dry. Right above me is the terrace club, reserved for the uber wealthy.

10:00pm – Brian Wilson comes in to save it. Sadly we never got to see the pitcher hit but a win is a win. By now the rain is coming down pretty heavy. It’s going to be a short night of sleep before catching an early flight for a day game at Wrigley on Thursday.

Deathtour~!: Comerica Park, Detroit (Now with 100% less pictures)

2008-06-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

Despite assurances that Detroit was a wretched hive of scum and villainy, I was not shot, stabbed, beaten, mugged, assaulted, accosted, jostled, burned or dismembered. In fact, I suffered no flesh wounds of any kind, although that is not to say I will reflect on my short stay in Detroit with fondness. I’m not going to go into the details but let’s just say that I will avoid Comfort Inn on future trips.

My time here also suffered from the death of my camera’s battery. I was particularly upset about this since this isn’t the first time it’s happened at a game and I should be more prepared for this. I’d actually checked the battery in the hotel room and it seemed okay so I didn’t bother to recharge it. As soon as I turned it on to take that first picture, nothing. No picture. So, new policy. That thing gets recharged every two days. I a guarantee I’ll be taking plenty of pictures of the Giants game in Cleveland on Wednesday to make up for it.

It’s unfortunate that I don’t have photographs of Comerica Park, the Tigers home field. It’s a visually spectacular facility with a plethora of historical treasures, memorabilia, attractions and a panoramic view of the downtown area. And it’s a popular destination for a week night. This opening game against the Cardinals drew the 3^rd largest crowd in the 9 year history of the ballpark. And boy was it a large crowd, both in volume and girth. By my completely unscientific estimation, Detroit fans are the second heaviest group of fans behind St. Louis (and I know Shane is attempting to single-handedly lower the Cardinals fan weight average). How fitting that those two teams were playing tonight.

I arrived an hour before game time and it was already packed. I had to squeeze my way past the Tiger faithful in their 1968 replica road unis, which took some time. Comerica pays tribute to Tiger history beginning with a series of pillars on the lower level promenade, each dedicated to a particular decade. Tiger greats like Ty Cobb and Mickey Cocherane are spotlighted in pictures and with their equipment on display. Statues line the left-field bleachers, each representing the players who have been bestowed the honor of having their number retired.

The name, Comerica Park, conjures up the image of an amusement park, and, in fact, houses an attraction you’d likely find at such a place. Comerica Park is the only baseball stadium to hold a carousal, fittingly with nothing but Tigers. The centerfield hitters backdrop is lined with ivy and topped with a fountain that you can walk under. Despite being constructed in the era of luxury and club level seating, Comerica has only 2 decks with a small luxury level in-between and the upper level seating is very family friendly in economic terms.

I took my seat shortly before game time, still bummed about not having my camera and I didn’t take any notes during the game. After last night’s 2:12 minute affair, this game seemed like a marathon session. Kenny Rogers took about a minute just to throw the first pitch. The game plodded along for over three hours from there. The crowd was surprisingly subdued for such a large crowd, only coming alive for a couple of early home runs, of which one was highly controversial, sparking an argument between Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa and the unpires. Disappointingly for Tiger fans, he was not tossed. Once the Cardinals took over in the middle stages of the game, it was a slow migration towards the exits with many departing after the Redbirds scored 3 in the 7^th to make it an 8-2 game. Detroit scored 2 in the bottom of the inning and had runners on in the ninth but never caught up.

After the game I quickly made my way back to the hotel to prepare for an early wakeup call. Next it’s on to Cleveland. Go Gigantes!

Deathtour~!: Nationals Park, Washington DC

2008-06-24T12:49:00.001-07:00

I’m switching things up for my report on tonight’s game. Instead of writing up a summery and throwing all the pictures at the end I’m going for a running commentary of the game and putting the pictures throughout the post.

I got to DC at around 11am and hopped on the metro, heading over to the Navy Yard. I was able to check into my hotel early thankfully as it gave me time to shower, change, send out some mail and take a nap before the game. If there’s one thing I’m not getting enough of on this trip it’s sleep so I’m taking what I can, even at the expense of losing out on sightseeing in one of the most attraction rich cities in the country if only for a few hours. The Navy Yard isn’t exactly near anything as it is, except the stadium which was only 3 blocks from my hotel.

6:00pm - The weather report has been calling for thunderstorms up and down the east coast for the past few days but there was no trace of rain clouds all day. Of course, no sooner than when I head over to the yard does it start to drizzle. By the time I make it to the ticket booth I’m wondering if I’m going to be the victim of a rain out. I try not to think about whether going through the turnstile constitutes a successful stadium visit. I’m without a jacket or sweatshirt. It’s still 80 degrees despite the rain (the fact that that’s possible blows my mind). All I want is a seat with a roof over it so I end up with $65 club level seats.

6:05pm – Once inside the gate I headed for the bleachers to get a look at the field. The tarp was on and there was no sign of a grounds crew which means we could be here all night. As a side note, I’ve never been to a rained out game or a rain delayed game at all that I can recall. At this point I’m just hoping I get to see them remove the tarp from the field. It could be my only entertainment for the night.

6:10pm – I make my customary pass around the lower level concession area. The area behind home plate has a picture mural of the history of Baseball in Washington, DC. Everything from the Negro Leagues to the first two Washington Senator teams is covered.

6:12pm – They also have a series of paintings of many Hall of Famers with no connection to DC at all that are scattered around. My hero Willie is among them.

6:19pm – I made my first food purchase. The New York Times travel section wrote an article about ballpark food. This map lists their best and worst at each stadium. Just to humor the article I tried out the ‘best’ Nationals Park has to offer; a pretzel in the shape of a ‘W’. It’s not bad, but at $6 I was expecting better. And I certainly don’t think it’s the best DC has to offer. I decide to try something else later.

6:24pm - Just to kill time I made a second pass around, this time on the club level. It’s pretty swanky though over crowded at the moment. No one is allowed in their seats right now. As a result everyone is congregating by the bar. From this level I can see the tops of the concession stands in the outfield. I did a double take before realizing that, yes, those are plants on the roof of the concessions. Nationals Park is a green facility.

6:36pm – Still not in my seat and still no announcement as to when or if the game is going to start. I’ve made two circles around the stadium.

7:02pm – Finally in my seat and they’ve announced that the game will start at 8:30pm. That’s an hour and 30 minutes from now. I’m glad I have a program to read. I don’t know what I’d do for 90 minutes otherwise.

7:34pm – About an hour before the new game time and they’re removing the tarp. I was hoping it would come flying up in their faces but no such luck. Hey, maybe they’ll get this thing started early.

8:05pm – The Washington DC gay men’s chorus signs a great version of the National Anthem. Almost as good as the one their SF counterparts performed at a game a couple weeks back. Maybe the anthem only sounds decent when performed by gay chorus groups. Further research needs to be done.

8:21pm – First pitch. I could be here past 11:30. On the bright side the weather is still warm. The events of San Diego will not be repeated.

8:47pm – Willie Harris, batting well below the Mendoza line, hits a bomb to right field to put the Nats up 1-0 in the bottom of the third. We’ve been cruising along at a rapid pace.

9:00pm – Middle of the 4^th already. It’s time for the Presidents Race. Yeah, it’s a complete rip off of Milwaukee’s sausage race but who cares.

9:01pm – The Presidents Race is FIXED~! Boo! About 5 seconds in Washington and Teddy trip Lincoln and give him a beatdown on the warning track allowing Jefferson to run away with the race. In storyline mode Lincoln was undefeated this homestand and the other Presidents weren’t going to allow that to continue. I can’t believe this thing was a work. If I had wanted to watch two dudes dress up in costumes and pretend to fight I’d have stayed in my hotel and watched Raw is the Draft.

9:06pm – Top of the fifth. Lackey and Bergman are pitching like they have a plane to catch.

9:10pm – Angels tied it in the top of the fifth on a sacrifice.

9:19pm – End of 5. That was the longest inning of the game so far. Still, we’re past the halfway point and it hasn’t even been an hour since the first pitch. I don’t know what the quickest 9 inning game in the last 25 years is, but this has to be in contention right now.

9:43pm – Seventh inning stretch and we’re still on pace to end this thing in under 2 hours, just as long as someone breaks the tie.

9:44pm – Willie “I’m still hitting under .200” Harris triples. This is followed by Lo Duca lining a shot to Lackey who attempts to double up Harris but throws it short. It skips down the line and Harris comes in to break the tie.

9:46pm – Some idiot further down in my section is standing with his cell phone to his ear waving across the stadium to someone who can’t possibly see him. He’s rightfully being harshly heckled by some guys in my row.

9:51pm – End of 7 and the Exodus begins. Because there’s no way the team with the worst record in the National League could blow a 1 run game in the 8^th.

9:55pm – The Nats have gone to the bullpen and the pace has slowed with Saul Rivera on the mound.

10:00pm – And the Nats defense completely falls apart. After a single, Chone Figgens steals second and goes to third on the throw to the center fielder by the catcher. Felipe Lopez boots a groundball hit by Erick Aybar who advances to second because no one hustled to pick up the ball in short right field. Garrett Anderson singles scoring Aybar and it’s 3-2 Angels. Unbelievable.

10:17pm – Top 9. Gary “Don’t call me Junior” Matthews pinch hits. Immediately a “Steroids” chant starts up.

10:21pm – We’re officially 2 hours old and just heading to the bottom of the ninth. Francisco Rodriguez is in to close it out.

10:33pm – Rodriguez strikes out the side despite making it interesting with some deep counts and a walk. Official time of the game is 2 hours, 12 minutes. Thank God. I’m going to get a reasonable amount of sleep tonight. On to Detroit.

HeroesCon in (a few) pictures

2008-06-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

For the second year in a row I trekked across the country to Charlotte for HeroesCon, a mid-major in the world of comic conventions. It's a fun event that draws a few names with maybe a surprise announcement and the ocassional costumed attendee but it's mostly about meeting up with friends you haven't seen in a while. And as with any convention, I spent more than I wanted to, though the money was well spent. I found a few books I'm really looking forward to reading and picked up a few things for some people back home. I didn't take any pics during the con but I managed to remember to snap a few shots when we had the group together during our meal breaks.

L to R: Georgie - whose name may or may not actually be Gregory, Nick - who is certainly British, Kyle - whose beard is most definetly sentient.

L to R: Josh - who is absolutely the product of an incestuous relationship, Raph - who could possibly have terrorist connections, Jabsen - who was too short to be photographed.

Another meal with another crew. This time with Jermaine (second from the right) and everyone from his shop. A fine bunch of people. I spent most of Sunday trying to convince Jermaine to come out west. I don't think he's been west of the Mississippi his entire life. And I've come out to NC every year for the last three years. I think we almost convinced him to come to San Diego next year. We'll see.

Julie, Me and Jermaine. I've already mentioned Jermaine. Julie I hadn't seen in two years and I didn't even know she was going to be in Charlotte. It was a nice surprise to see her. In two weeks she's getting her PhD in Psychology. Congrats Julz.

Drinking milk with Kyle and stud artist Greg Horn. Check out Greg's site to see his awesome work. Kyle lent Greg a hand during the weekend and we helped him pack up after the con after which we went out to dinner. We cleaned out Uno's milk supply for the weekend. Greg was ecstatic to find his milk-drinking brethren.

That's it from Charlotte. For the next 4 days it's baseball before I hit the second convention in Chicago.

Lessons in History, part 1 of who knows?

2008-06-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

I really need to heed my own advice sometimes or learn from previous experience. A few months ago I took a redeye flight to St. Louis. It was not amongst my favorite plane trips and when it was over I’d vowed not to take another redeye. Now, if I’d been reading my own blog I known not to book myself on an overnight flight to Charlotte, and truthfully, I hesitated before I did, but ultimately the cost/benefit analysis (the cost in this case being a night of sleep and the benefit being 1 less night in a crowded hotel with 4 other geeks) weighed in favor of the benefit side. Huge mistake! Appearently I didn’t learn the lesson of April 2008. So my flight to Charlotte was very much like my flight to St. Louis; long, over-booked, and mostly sleepless. Add to that a medical emergency on the plane and some missing luggage and what you get one epic fail of a plane trip. As of 10am I’m working on 3 hours of bad sleep, without access to a Starbucks and unclean and unshaven. Just a few minutes ago my luggage finally arrived, so I’ve got that going for me, which is nice. More later when I’m well rested and less cranky…

Deathtour Insanity~!

2008-06-20T13:48:00.000-07:00

At this moment I find myself standing on an event horizon, a few hours away from leaping into a black hole of insanity as the Deathtour takes a galactic leap forward. Of the 30 stadiums on my list to see, I’ve checked off only 7. And those were the easy ones. I didn’t have to leave my home state for 4 games. And I only left my own time zone for 1. In a few hours I will be flying across the country to start a 15 day, 8 city, 8 games + 2 comic conventions tour. In 2 weeks I will be doubling the amount of games I saw in 2 months. It didn’t really hit me until this morning how insane this whole endeavor is. Traveling alone, visiting a different city almost every day, half of which I’ve never been too and having no idea how to get around in them, I don’t know what made me think this was possible. This trip is apropos of the tour’s namesake. You know you’re in trouble when your response to being asked ‘where are you going?’ is to say, ‘Well, let me tell you where I’m not going…” or you exhaust yourself just listing your itinerary. But a lot of the fun of this experiment is the challenge itself. This trip, should I survive it, will bring me to 15 stadiums, the official halfway point of the Tour. If I don’t make it to 30 I can at least hang my hat on that.

I’m really excited to visit some cities I’ve never been too before, especially Detroit. When I would rattle off the cities I was traveling too and stopped at Detroit, the reaction from other people was almost universal, a fear, or possibly delight, that I would disappear and never be heard from again with a mix of disbelief that I would even want to go there. When I mentioned that I hadn’t booked a hotel yet, I was told, ‘book a gun while you’re at it.’ There’s a similar apprehension surrounding Comiskey in Chicago’s South Side, mostly from the people living in Chicago. This I don’t understand. I find it impossible to believe that either of these places is that bad. But then, I was born in The City. By my reasoning, if I can handle the Tenderloin and Hunters Point, the South Side and all of Detroit shouldn’t be a problem. And anyone who thinks differently must be some sort of country bumpkin.

Here’s a ~~quick~~ rundown of this trip. June 21^st and 22^nd I’ll be in Charlotte for HeroesCon. No game here but it’s a chance to catch up with some people I haven’t seen in a while. From there I’m taking Amtrak to our nation’s capital. I’ll be at National’s Park the night of the 23^rd. The following morning I’m flying out of Baltimore to Detroit for a game that same night. The next day I’ll be in Cleveland where the Giants are visiting the Indians in a rematch of the 1954 World Series. Thursday morning I go to Chicago for the weekend. After moving from city to city every day it will be nice to stay in one place for 4 nights. Week two finds me in the Twin Cities. Then it’s back to Chicago for a few hours before I catch a train overnight to Cincinnati. Then it’s back to Chicago for a third time before moving on to Milwaukee for the 4^th of July. I finally come back on the 5^th, road weary and desperately missing home.

So, yeah, insane. It’s going to be a lot of fun, if not exhausting. By far this is the most adventurous trip I’ve ever taken or conceived of. I can’t even think of a number two for that list. Nothing comes close. It’s a shame I don’t have anyone to share this experience with but alas I must undertake this trek alone. I hope to keep the blog updated daily with my whereabouts. We’ll see how long that lasts. Until tomorrow, Aloha.

Playing on God's Jukebox: Enjoy the Silence

Reviews: Mr. 3000

2008-06-03T15:57:00.001-07:00

Mr. 3000 is a baseball comedy from a few years back starring Bernie Mac as a Prima Donna athlete who quits the game after achieving a milestone in career hits (3000 as the movie title which doubles as his nickname indicates) leaving his team in the middle of a pennant race without their selfish, ego driven star. But his post-baseball life is lacking. His support for the Hall of Fame falls short of enshrinement despite inching closer to induction every year. That is until a statistical error is discovered that erases 3 of his 3000 hits and erodes a third of his Cooperstown support. Because, as we all know, no one with 2,997 hits ever gets induced into the Hall.

Mac decides to come out of retirement at age 47, 9 years after leaving the game that despised him so much, just to reclaim those last 3 hits. This premise is completely absurd, even by sports movie standards which routinely stretch the boundaries of reality in favor of Hollywood storytelling. A ridiculous endeavor as the natural sports world is filled with dramatics. We don’t need every game to come down to the last at-bat/shot/round to create drama, but this idea seems lost in Tinseltown.

Mr. 3000 takes every sports movie cliché and adds to the pile, almost to the point of parody. These are the same characters we’ve seen before, and they’re more bereft of life than ever before. The older star trying to hang on? Check. The young cocky player who reminds the older star of his younger self? Check. The foreign player who hasn’t learned how to properly swear? Check. The movie play-by-play guy who sounds nothing like a real play-by-play guy, which makes me wonder if any writer has ever watched a game on TV before? Check. ESPN segments with real personalities reading lines you’d never actually hear them say? Check.

The movie also suffers from not being funny, a fatal flaw for most movies that rely on joke-telling to carry you through a cookie cutter plot. Bernie Mac is usually a funny guy, but nothing he recites here comes close to generating genuine laughs. And when your biggest and best comedian can’t bring the funny, you’re in trouble. Angela Bassett plays an ESPN reporter who probably would have been fired from her job before the end of the movie in reality.

Paul Sorvino plays Mac’s manager and doesn’t utter a word until the final 10 minutes of the movie. One of the movie’s biggest question marks is how he managed to keep his job for 10 seasons (He’s the manager before Mac’s retirement and is still around when he comes back 9 years later). There’s no way he would have survived 10 seasons when the team was struggling and in last place as they were when Mac made his comeback. Especially in Milwaukee.

Speaking of Milwaukee, where in the blue hell was Bob Uecker? Uecker made a name for himself as radio announcer Harry Doyle in Major League. In real life, Uecker is the play-by-play guy for the Brewers. You can’t tell me he was unavailable for the role here. He would have single handedly salvaged a portion of this mess, or at the very least, turned it into a beautiful disaster.

Meshugga Beach Party

2008-05-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

Are you into surf rock like Dick Dale and the Ventures? Do you enjoy traditional Jewish folk music? If you answered either question in the affirmative then do yourself a favor and check out Meshugga Beach Party. Tracy and I saw these guys performing in Golden Gate Park along the Bay to Breakers route and their rabbi attire immediately caught my attention. I made a b-line for the other side of the road to confirm what my eyes and ears were attempting to communicate to my brain. Sure enough my brain confirmed that I was looking at four rabbis playing surf rock. The sight put a huge smile on my face. these guys clearly have something here. We spotted a table of merchindise and before I arrived at it I knew that I'd be departing with a lighter wallet. Between the two of us we swiped up every CD they had and everything they play is fabulous. You haven't heard "Let My People Go" until you've heard it in the original surf rock style. I don't often plug a music group but Meshugga Beach Party deserves your attention.

Bay to Breakers

2008-05-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

To say that the Bay to Breakers is a 12k race and leave it at that is to leave out 99% of what makes the Bay to Breakers the event that it is. A more appropriate description is this: the Bay to Breakers is a city long parade, a celebration of pride, freedom, debauchery, silliness and good natured fun filled with merriment, dancing and partying, and, oh yeah, there's a footrace involved as well. A serious one at that. Athletes come from all over the world to compete in the Bay to Breakers, an event that gets its name from its starting location (San Francisco Bay) and its finish line (Ocean Beach where breaking waves crash the shoreline). Some dude from Kenya wins every year. Several thousands run the Breakers as a serious event. And the tens of thousands more that participate? They, uh...they...well, the pictures tell the story.

As a native and resident of San Francisco for 25+ year, I'm sad to say I'd never watched let alone take part in the event before this weekend. I can't believe I've been missing out on this. The Breakers epitomizes the spirit of San Francisco which I've long held to be the greatest city in the history of history. It covers every aspect of the city: Its hills, its people, its weather, its music, its food, its culture. I walked the route with my friend Tracy and among the things we were subject to were pirates, vikings, superheroes, beer, political activism, social commentary, beer, dance troupes, local bands, local food, local beer, endless music blaring from garages along the route, kids with water guns, beer, the sun and the fog, way to many naked men and not nearly enough naked women (which is a shame given all the beer that was involved).

As I see it, the event breaks down into two segments. The first part is a giant block party which runs from the beginning of the event to Fell Street. This is the life of the party. It's sunny, it's loud, the streets are packed. It's basically Mardi Gras done San Francisco style. Part B is an aimless stroll through the park. By this point the fog has rolled in and many of the participants have given up the pretense of finishing the race and planted themselves at one of the local watering holes or house parties that line the street of Part A. Whose who are left continue through the park. It's mostly quiet with a few scattered musical interludes until you reach the shores of the Pacific. A left turn down the Great Highway and you've finished. And as you cross the finish line and see a guy who looks like Ax from Demolition, all you're left to think about is, "what was I just a part of?"

The sea of humanity at Alta Vista Park

There's no turning back.

Hoooooooooooo!!!!!

Rrraaargh! Hulk drink beer!

I think these guys took a wrong turn at Greenland.

Flonk?! Flonk, is that you?!

Om-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom...

Tracy and I wondered what would happen if we got these pirates to fight the vikings. In reality they'd probably both drink themselves into unconciousness.

The fog approaches.

I have nothing to add to this.

I looked at that costume on the left for 15 minutes and couldn't figure out what I was looking at. Tracy took about 15 seconds to match it up with the other three. An octopus, fish, crab and turtle.

Oh sure, the guy in the $300 banana suit! C'mon!!!

Annnnd done. And it only took us 3 hours and 21 minutes and change.

Deathtour~!: Anaheim Stadium, Anaheim

2008-05-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

Part two of the SoCal weekend was down the road in Anaheim. Only a day after the sweltering heat of Dodger Stadium turned my arms five shades redder, the fog and rain made an unexpected appearance in Orange County. It was almost like being back home. If only I’d packed for the occasion. Thankfully it cleared up and warmed up (a bit) for the game so I wasn’t freezing my ass off as I was in San Diego.

Going into the game I wasn’t expecting to come away with a positive experience as I’m predisposed to disliking everything that exists south of Monterray but Anaheim Stadium isn’t that bad. It’s far and away superior to Dodger Stadium and it looks better in person than it does on television. Like Dodger Stadium it’s not around anything. Unfortunately there’s no ballpark scene to speak of. The outsides of every stadium should be lively, the streets filled with revelry. The anticipation of each game should be felt throughout the neighborhood. Sadly, both Los Angeles area ballparks lack this atmosphere.

Anaheim is one of the oldest parks still in use and has been home to the Angels for over 4 decades and 2 name changes. It was originally a baseball only stadium but it later was used by the Los Angeles Rams. Like Candlestick Park, which was first a baseball only stadium with bleachers before being renovated for football use, Anaheim underwent renovations to enclose the stadium in the upper deck levels. After the Rams moved to St. Louis the stadium, once again, became a baseball only venue and again underwent renovations to return it to a more traditional baseball look. The most notable change was the inclusion of a landscape featuring trees, rocks and a geyser. From my couch at home this feature seems tacky but in truth it’s a natural fit with the park. There’s a patio behind the rock feature where you can enjoy a pre-game meal and apertures in the rock allow for a view of home plate. To the left of the landscaping are the bullpens, uniquely adjacent to one another, almost stacked on top of each other.

As is my tradition, I went searching for food before the game. My journey took me around the entire concourse and I was shocked by the lack of selection. Aside from some familiar fast food locations, one Mexican concession and two Ruby’s Diner locations, I didn’t see anything outside of the traditional hot dogs and candy that can be found in any ballpark. When you’re used to choosing between 30 or so unique eateries at home, seeing this selection was quite disappointing. I ended up at Ruby’s, only because I was able to get French fries served in a batting helmet. So at least I was getting a souvenir out of the deal.

A few random thoughts during the game

I thought beach balls only happened at Dodger Stadium. I was wrong. A group of idiot college kids (is there any other kind of college kid?) threw a bunch of beach balls around and were immediately kicked out. I don’t think they were in their seats for a full inning…I’ve never seen so many pitchers with ERA’s over 10 in one game. Angels’ starter Nick Adenhart’s ERA went from 9 to 12 over the course of the second inning…Appropriately the final score was 10-7 Angels…Post game note: Nick Adenhart was sent down to the minors after this start. And he got the win in this game…Unbelievable…No sign of the rally monkey which made me very happy…Angels and Giants fans have something in common after all: a hatred for AJ Pierzynski...This was the second White Sox game I saw on this trip. I hadn't intended to make it a White Sox themed trip as I had intended to make the first trip Giants themed. The Sox third city on their road trip was in San Francisco but I failed to make it out to the yard.

Yes, those are giant helmets outside the stadium.

The 2 bullpens in the left-field corner. I prefer the 'pens down the line but this design is pretty sweet looking.

The view from the patio.

This was cool between inning entertainment. A kid had to run down the 3rd base line, pick up 3rd base and run back to the tape. If finished in under 40 seconds he got to keep the base. He had trouble removing the base so Angels 3rd baseman Matt Brown helped out. He crossed the tape with 3 seconds left and got to keep the base.

ERA of 23.63. His performance in this game reflected that stat. His line in this game: 0 innings, 2 hits, 1 unearned run. He came in after an error so he could have given up 10 runs and none of them would have increased his ERA.

The fireworks explode out of the rock formation after a Vlad Guerrero home run and the Angels victory.

Deathtour~!: Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles

2008-05-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Los Angeles: home of the hated Dodger franchise, the scourge of the Giants fan. I was anxious leading up to my trip to Dodger stadium. When I was first planning the Deathtour I considered visiting 29 stadiums and leaving the Dodgers out. Why should I spend time on a team I’ve despised for my entire life? Surely setting foot on Chavez Ravine was sacrilegious. Would I be able to keep my sanity surrounded by blue hats and jerseys if I went? But 30 teams mean 30 teams, and I had to go whether I wanted to or not.

Dodger Stadium is an absolute hole of a ballpark. In the second largest metropolis in the country, the stadium is located in the middle of nowhere. A giant thing surrounded by a concrete lot surrounded by empty space. In many ways it reminds me of Candlestick, but that’s almost an insult to Candlestick which was at least gifted with that famous wind. Dodger Stadium is void of character, extraordinary for being ordinary. Every stadium I’ve been to so far has been defined by its surroundings – the city, the neighborhood, local business, citizens, etc. The best way I can describe Dodger stadium is this: Imagine the middle of nowhere. Now imagine a baseball stadium in that space. That’s Dodger Stadium. In some ways I’m glad it’s still standing. It’s another reason to dislike this team.

As there was nothing to do before the game, we arrived early, atypical of most Dodger fans (at least according to the reputation we’ve given them), so that I could ‘admire’ this magnificent structure. I’ve started every game by walking around the concourse to take in the concessions, dugout stores and the view of the field from the promenade. Dodger stadium however is built right into the mountain and view level ticket holders enter at the top level so there was no lower level walk for me to enjoy. So I spent the hour before the game taking in the stadiums ‘features’ from the comfort of my seat. For instance, the, uh…palm trees beyond the left field bleachers. You don’t see those everywhere in southern California. Or the bleachers themselves, which would fit right in at any college or high school field in the country. Just before game time we were treated to a mini concert consisting of the Anthem, God Bless America and a completely original song about fighting cancer (It’s Mothers Day, so Cancer awareness was on the agenda). I was able to make it through the first song before feeling the need to excuse myself. I’ve always felt that our patriotic songs are pretty terrible as songs and aren’t really worthy of our country and I try to avoid hearing them whenever possible. Seriously, we can do better in this department.

Part of my tour is keeping score at every game, which makes getting up for food mid-way through difficult. And since eating something from the concession stands is also part of the tour I try to stuff something in my mouth before the game starts. So I took the Anthem as my opportunity to secure a Dodger Dog which, in my experience, has a solid reputation as being one of the best hotdogs in the country. It’s even gotten praise from the Giants’ announcing crew and it’s fair to say that savoring a Dodger Dog was the only thing I was looking forward to that day. Unfortunately I was misled. There’s nothing special about it. All the world’s relish and onion supply couldn’t save that thing. A disappointing day all around, so far.

The game would save the day. In all the games I’ve been to I’ve never been witness to anything historical. I’ve never seen a record breaking performance. I’ve never watched a perfect game or no-hitter or seen a hitter hit 4 home runs or hit for the cycle. I’ve watched many Barry Bonds home runs. I watched Livan Hernandez throw a complete game shutout. I saw Jason Schmidt’s most impressive performance of his career. But I’ve never seen anything historic. I had a chance to catch Maddux’s 350^th win but Hoffman blew that game. With 30 games on the schedule this season I’m hoping my chances are good to see something truly special, and through 6 innings at Dodger stadium I was, and I couldn’t have been more depressed about it. Hiroki Kuroda, the Dodgers’ starting pitcher had a no-hitter. I’ve always wanted to see a no-hitter. But NO WAY would seeing a Dodger throw one be acceptable to me. I couldn’t live with that. Finally, with 2 outs in the 7^th, Hunter Pence poked one through the hole to break up the no-no, and there couldn’t have been a happier person at that ballpark. It got even better for me when Kuroda was replaced and the Dodgers’ bullpen, strong all year, quickly surrendered the lead, giving up 7 runs in the 8^th and 9^th innings. What looked like a sure Dodger win quickly turned into a Houston blowout and a happy ending for me.

A few random thoughts during the game

I hate beach balls. And I think every God fearing Giants fan does too. I counted 9 beach balls over the course of the game and I would have given anything to pop one of those things. I almost prayed for it to happen. And I don’t pray. Period…The second offence of these fans? The wave. Just awful. Is there a sports tradition any more repugnant? I can’t even bring myself to type anything more about it…Every game seems to carry a lesson. San Diego’s was “prepare for cold weather”. Seattle’s was “make sure the camera battery is charged”. Los Angeles’ was “bring sun block”. Thank Zod I always wear a hat…

Approaching the stadium.

Yup. That's a baseball stadium all right...

The Void...

The Wave's coming right at you and you can't escape it. Sounds like the tag for M. Night Shyamalan's next film.

This was the most visually interesting picture I could think to take. Yeah...

He has a brother "ALSO NAMED CARLOS"? Best Scoreboard Tidbit Ever~! I can't even imagine that conversation his parents had before Carlos number 2 was born.

They let all the moms walk around the field after the game. I took a picture of right field as we were leaving. When I later looked at this picture I thought my computer had reversed the image. That's right, I couldn't tell the difference between left and right field.

Deathtour~!: SafeCo Field, Seattle

2008-05-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

Seattle

After a two week ‘rest’ period my tour continues with a 3 stadium weekend in Seattle and Los Angeles, which wraps up the remainder of the west coast stadiums (minus Oakland). Seattle, aside from hosting a Major League franchise, is also the birthplace of a particular coffee company that employees me. As such I decided to check out the original store in the Pike Place market. Aside from the name on the building, the Pike Place store shares almost no characteristics with any of the other Mermaid stores. While the company has been emphasizing a return to the basics, the signature store never ditched the basics to begin with. They’ve even kept the original logo and aside from a few snack items at the register, there’s no food in the store. No pastries. No sandwiches. Which was quite the surprise as I had walked down to the store specifically to buy breakfast. I bought a drink and a souvenir or two before walking to a second store for pastries. The one thing about downtown Seattle, there’s no short supply of the green apron. It’s impossible to stand in any one location and not see that mermaid logo. It’s amazing.

SafeCo Field

SafeCo Field, home of the Seattle Mariners, is the fifth ballpark on the tour. Although I hadn’t previously been to a game here I had been to the stadium. I was in Seattle during the opening weekend of the stadium on a family vacation. Going to a game was the only event on the trip I was interested in. As it was the opening of the ballpark I told my father to buy tickets ahead of time. He didn’t believe that would be necessary and put it off. Of course the game was sold out and we couldn’t get tickets at the box office. It’s something I’ll never forget and he’ll never be forgiven for it. It was one of the most disappointing moments in family vacation history it’s a major reason why I won’t travel with my family (there are many other reasons).

So 10 years later I finally get to go to the game. Despite staying with several buddies in town for the Emerald City ComiCon, none were interested in attending the game. So, for the first time on the Deathtour, I was flying solo. Additionally for the first time on the tour, my camera died, so, disappointedly there are no pictures of my visit to the stadium. The only evidence I have that I was ever there is my ticket, the program, my completed scorecard and the Mariners gym bag they were giving away as a promotion.

As I was entering the city on the bus, about three hours before game time, I could see the stadium to the left. The roof was closed and I was hoping it would stay that way for the game. Unfortunately the roof had been opened by the time I arrived at the ballpark from the hotel. I’ll have to wait until I get to Minnesota to watch a game under the comfort of a ceiling over head.

SafeCo is an enormous structure, lacking the intimacy of the Phone Booth or Busch and it has a decidedly modern feel, not the retro style of many of the other new ballparks. The scoreboard is electronic, the jumboscreen is bland and there’s a dining facility behind right field. For a weekend game I was surprised at how many empty seats there were. In a way I think it made SafeCo seem even bigger. Before I took my seat I made sure to grab a bite to eat. There was some mouthwatering barbeque dishes but I settled on something that seemed uniquely Washingtonian, an IvarDog, which is named so for the company that makes it and consists of Alaskan Cod and cole slaw on a hot dog bun. Suffice it to say, I’ll probably never have one again.

A few random thoughts during the game

When did we agree that every game was going to start with a 5 year old kid yelling “Play ball!” into a microphone? I don’t remember that meeting…San Diego had a breakdancing groundskeeper and Seattle had a groundkeeping quintet perform the Thriller dance to Bad which made me think, “shouldn’t they be playing Thriller?” For better or worse this performance got a bigger pop from the crowd than anything during the game…the train station behind the stadium in center field adds some nice character to the place. Having the occasional train blow its horn as it goes by is a nice identifying mark…The upper deck has a nice view of Qwest Field next door. Now that is a nice looking football stadium…Every game has that stupid hat dance where you have to keep track of the ball but Seattle has the Extreme hat dance. It goes twice as fast and midway through they introduce a 4^th hat to the mix…Is proposing at a sports game really romantic? I ask this as a serious question and I ask this as a serious sports fan…I have to mention that I was impressed that most fans stayed until the final out. The Mariners were down 3 going into the final inning and in most places that equals an exodus to the parking lot…Also, how sad is it that staying to the final out impresses me now? What does that say about the state of our sports world?…I’m a National League fan through and through and I hate the DH, but I will say this about it. It certainly keeps the scorecard looking neat. You don’t have to worry about where you’re going to write all those substitutions, mostly because there are none…Of all the scorecard designs I’ve seen so far, Seattle has the best. Yes, I really think about these things at the game.

Deathtour~!: PETCO Park, San Diego

2008-04-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

Before I talk about my experience in San Diego, the third leg of my 3-city tour, I just wanted to thank Shane Welker, Pat Loika and the Mesa members of the Weisenburger family (that's my mom's side for those wondering) for being gracious hosts and putting up with my presence for a day or so at a time over the last week. I may be the only one making the trek across the country to all 30 stadiums but having friends and family along the way to visit and attend games with adds another dimension to my travels that I’d be hard pressed to do without. There will be games and cities where I will be alone and I feel blessed to have had companions in all three cities on this trip.

PETCO PARK

PETCO Park is the 4^th stadium I’ve visited this season and, like the previous 3 I’ve watched games at, it’s a young ballpark, opening up in 2004. Unlike PacBell, Busch (which I’ve visited), Wrigley and Philadelphia (which I’ll see later in the season), PETCO does not have the classic brick façade, except for the Western Metal Supply Company building, instead utilizing sandstone and steel to give the stadium a southern taste. The Western Metal Supply Company building, the ‘jewel’ of the park, was built in 1919 and ingeniously included in the design of the ballpark with the corner wall acting as the left field foul pole. I can’t get over how cool that is. Beyond centerfield is the Park at the Park, a standing room only type area which only costs $5. The hill in the park is a great area for a family picnic during a game. A jumbotron on the reverse side of the scoreboard provides Park at the Park patrons with an additional view of the game, a vital feature as despite a grand view of home plate and centerfield, a full third of the playing field is obstructed by the left field seats. The Park at the Park also includes a miniature diamond for kids and a statue of Tony Gwynn, who is apparently the only Padres legend in the team’s history as evidenced by the almost complete lack of any mention of other great players who have donned a Fathers uniform.

One of the pleasures of seeing the Giants in all three games on this trip was finding kindred spirits in the stands. St. Louis was devoid of Giants faithful, not surprising given the fanaticism of Cardinals supporters and the relative distance of St. Louis to San Francisco. Arizona was much better. It’s not that far removed from the Bay and Scottsdale is the spring home of the franchise. San Diego had an even larger group of Giants fans, including one in particular who works as an usher for the Friars. As I was leaving my section to tour the stadium I heard an unfamiliar voice call out to me. I looked around quizzically and saw an usher headed right for me. I had no idea what was going on until he came right up and shook my hand. “I’m the biggest Giants fan in this stadium,” he told me. Initially I thought it was set up of some kind but was assured after few words that I’d found a new friend. He seemed even happier to see me than I was to see him.

I came back to my seat after walking around and decided to talk with this usher again. After properly introducing myself to Jon Goodbar, we discussed our mutual interest in the Giants, how Jon came to be a Giants fan living in San Diego and working for the Padres, different ballparks and how PETCO compares to PacBell. He even gave me a short history of the area. In all I’ve never met a more friendly usher at a game, home or away, and if I ever find myself back at PETCO, I’ll be sure to go up to section 317 to say hi, regardless of where I’m sitting.

The game itself was promising enough. Two great starters – Cain and Maddux – one of whom is a solid up and comer and the other a sure Hall of Famer looking for his 350^th victory. And both pitchers lived up to the billing. Cain surrendered only one run and striking out seven. Maddux pitched seven shutout innings giving up only four hits with five Ks and was looking to be on his way to his milestone victory, with Cain on his way to another 1-0 decision loss, until Trevor Hoffman, another Hall of Famer, gave up the game tying home run to Bengie Molina with 2 outs in the ninth. The Giants fan in me was excited, but the baseball fan in me was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see a piece of history and dreading the possibility of another 22 inning affair. The winds were howling in the upper deck and I was freezing my butt off in the third row from the top. By the 11^th inning my hands were frozen and shaking so much that I couldn’t write in my scorecard any longer. I hadn’t even dared to get out of my seat to grab a bite to eat. With an early flight the next morning and my long term health on my mind I decided to do what I’d hoped not to do: leave before the final out. It pains me to type it and a part of me regrets the decision. I have no excuse.

For the next few weeks I’m back home with no games slated until I travel to Seattle to watch the Mariners take on the White Sox. I’ll update the blog as much as possible with my incoherent ramblings, but until the next game enjoy these pictures of PETCO Park.

The Western Metal Supply Co. - Still standing after 98 years.

Tony Gwynn. The only Padre who ever lived. Aside from the retired numbers above the centerfield backdrop, which did not include names, I saw no prominent display for Winfield, Garvey or the Goose (who were both a big factor in the Friars first pennant).

The centerfield sandbox and the Park at the Park.

We got there early enough to watch the Giants take BP. Our young stud John Bowker spent that time learning the ropes at 1st base from one of the best defensive players at that position, JT Snow.

The view of our seats and the view from our seats.

Hoffman enters from the bullpen and then gives up the game tying home run to Bengie.

Deathtour~!: Chase Field, Arizona

2008-04-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

Stop number two of my three city week long excursion finds me in the middle of a desert. Who decided to build a city here, anyway? I can’t find any reason for it. But apparently over 4 million people have decided to live here. The worst part about this place is how spread out everything is. Nothing is in walking distance from anything, which, as a non-driving citizen, would make living here impossible. I looked up the population density and there’s just a hair shy of 3,000 people per square mile here. That’s 1.5 million spread out over 517 square miles. By comparison, San Francisco’s density is over 15,000 per square mile. We’ve squeezed half the population into one tenth the amount of land (47 square miles). No matter how many people live somewhere, you shouldn’t be allowed to call yourself a city unless you have a density over 7,000 and an adequate bus system supported with a subway or light rail. Phoenix is officially a town.

Chase Field

Unofficially, it’s still The BOB, just like AT&T is still Pac Bell. The BOB seems more natural. Even the mascot of the Diamondbacks is still a BOBcat, though I’m sure the impracticality of an armless snake mascot has something to do with it. The win on Sunday filled me with a false sense of optimism coming into Arizona. I was wearing my colors a little more boldly and the orange and black were well represented at the game. I even found myself seated next to two Giants fans (who unfortunately were not the members of my extended family I was with) who were as happy to see me as I was to see them. After only finding 3 Giants fans in St. Louis, it was nice to be closer to home.

As is becoming my custom with each park, I took a walk around the concourse, checking out each feature along the way – The Pool in right center, Friday’s Sports Grill in Left field, the stadium organ along the left field foul pole. There’s a kids diamond beyond the outfield, which seems to be a popular attraction at ballparks now and a community wall featuring all the little league ball parks the club has funded.

Until this point, I’d only been to outdoor stadiums. To come in and see the roof overhead was quite the experience. The sounds of the ballpark echo from side to side in an unusual way. It’s more like a basketball game or a concert. I was told by my uncle that they keep the roof closed during the day to keep the field cool and then open it up right before the game. It was about 25 minutes before game time when we took our seats in the upper deck directly behind home plate. It was then that I realized I didn’t have a program or scorecard, a requirement for all my games. I walked back down to the lower level, into the team store and purchased a program for the bargain price of $3. By the time I’d made my way back to my seat the roof had been opened. I was kicking myself for missing an obvious photo opportunity.

The additional benefit of sitting behind the plate is the uncanny view of the most spectacular HD screen I’ve ever seen (a new feature this year according to my program). And they make great use of it too throwing up tons of information on the game without compromising the size of the picture used for replays. My favorite feature of the screen was a recap of the last 3 plays. This is of great help if you’re keeping score and need to make a pit stop of grab a bite to eat, which is another requirement for me.

I wasn’t able to find a warm food item that stood out so I asked the concession worker what was good. She gave me the standard ‘everything’s good’ line so I asked what was popular. I came away with some chicken strips and some fries, not exactly unique, but I was hungry and needed something to pass as ‘dinner’ since my next food choice wasn’t going to qualify. Down here they have something called Cold Stone Creamery (which I kept wanting to call Stone Cold) which serves some drool inducing ice cream in waffle cups drenched in caramel. Perfect! It’s 8:30pm and 80 degrees out. Ice cream is exactly what I need. And it certainly made the rest of the game enjoyable as the Giants lost a tough one 4-2, to the delight of my family.

Center field before the game. The roof was still closed at this point.

Roof Open. I would have had the perfect location to watch the transformation if I hadn't forgotten to get a program outside.

Friday's Sports Grill in left and the Lexus Club in right. Fine Dining at the game. The pool is just to the left of the picture in right. I've always liked the funky dimensions caused by the bullpens. I prefer them on the field, down the lines, but this is almost as good.

I don't think this picture does that screen justice. It's really extraordinary. I want one for my house.

On a per dollar basis, upper deck seats directly behind the plate may be the best value in baseball. It's just like watching a classic game on SuperNES.

Seventh Inning stretch. The organ is right underneath the Sandlot sign. The lower deck filled in nicely but the upper decks were bare. Only 22,097 at the game.

Deathtour~!: Busch Stadium, St. Louis

2008-04-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

With the hometown portion of the Deathtour halfway completed (Oakland yet to come) the long road trip got started this weekend, fittingly, with a Giants themed 3 game leg. It’s of course impossible to see the Giants in every city, the schedule just doesn’t work out for me and they don’t play in 12 of the 15 American League parks, but I thought it would be fun to follow the team for a short road trip through St. Louis, Phoenix and San Diego to start the tour.

The first destination was St. Louis. I’m well traveled, having covered half the states in the union, but St. Louis, Missouri and the Midwest in general are foreign to me (I didn’t even realize St. Louis and Chicago were of a similar distance to San Francisco and Los Angeles). Aside from Chicago, my only experience in the Midwest involves looking down on it from 30,000 feet. Naturally I was looking forward to coming here, not just for the game, but to experience a new region of the country.

For cost purposes I chose to take the red-eye from San Francisco with a layover in Chicago which may not have been my best decision. I can’t sleep on planes as it is and with my work schedule my internal clock is ready for bed at 8pm. By the time we were in the air at 11:45 it was already well over 3 hours past my bedtime and between home and Chicago I may have managed an hour of sleep with another hour between Chicago and St. Louis which accounted for my lethargy the rest of the day and the minimal amount of conversation I was able to hold with my buddy Shane (sorry dude) and his lovely wife Michelle. I was even fighting off the Sandman during the later half of the baseball game.

I arrived after 9am and shortly thereafter we sat down to eat breakfast at White Castle, of all places. I’d seen a sign for White Castle and mentioned that I’d never eaten there before, although I’m well familiar with their miniature burgers. I downed 4 cheeseburgers along with a coke and realized that perhaps this wasn’t the healthiest way to start the week, considering I’d be attending 3 baseball games, spending a considerable amount of time at airports and have very little opportunity to workout. Already I’m dreading my Friday session with my personal trainer.

Before the game Shane gave me the nickel tour of the St. Louis area stopping to point out and provide the history of every third building we passed. Coming from California there are a few geographical differences that really stand out. Firstly, this entire third of the country is obscenely flat. When you’re used to walking steps hills on a daily basis and view great mountains in the distance it’s jarring to look around not see more than a small mound for miles and miles. Secondly, the Bay Area is green all year round. Evergreens line the sidewalks and fill the parks. Forest Park, St. Louis’ version of Golden Gate Park, and the surrounding landscape in general, is sparsely covered with leaves this time of year, making it appear more barren than it probably is.

After the game we walked down Delmar Avenue, visited The Star Clipper and a hip little used record store, which was reminiscent of the much larger and more expansive Amoeba Records back home, and finished with dinner at a local microbrewery.

New Busch Stadium

The Cardinals new home, which opened last season, was built partially on the site of the old stadium. There are even markers outside the stadium to indicate the foul line and a plaque depicting the overlap of the two parks. From the exterior Busch reminds me a bit of home with its brick finish, which is all the rage in new ballparks, and attention to history. A bust of Jack Buck, accompanied with a photo collage and audio clips of his famous calls, sits outside left-center field. It’s a fantastic tribute to the man who is arguably the best sports (not just baseball) announcer and unarguably one of the most important of the past 50 years. Just a bit further down from the bust is a group of statues of some of the Cardinals and St. Louis Browns greats from Dizzy Dean and Rogers Hornsby to Stan Musial. Another Musial statue stands just outside the main gate but the less spoken about that one the better. Inside the stadium is another tribute to the old ballpark, the hand operated scoreboard, which has been permanently frozen in time at the moment the old stadium finished its last ballgame. Sadly, the scoreboard at the new yard is a step back from the classic look and given the retro design of the new stadium, the electronic setup doesn’t mesh with the rest of the stadium, which looks great.

Coming into the game the Giants were 7-11 and the Cardinals were 12-6 and atop the central division and despite the Gigantes moderate success against St. Louis this year I wasn’t keen on our chances of winning with Jonathon Sanchez on the mound. What I didn’t count on was Braden Looper pitching for the Cards as he gave up 6 straight hits allowing the Giants 6 runs in the third inning. Sanchez himself provided 5 workmanlike innings of shutout baseball. I was as stunned as anybody in that crowd, even Shane who spent most of the game with his face in his palm. “You’re not allowed back here,” he declared, not even halfway through the game. The Giants scored two more in the 4^th to make it 8-0. I gleefully looked around the sea of red and white for another orange and black fan to share my excitement with as I polished off a Bratzel, a Bratwurst wrapped in a pretzel (again with the diet). In total I counted 3 Giants hats among the 41,000 plus. Even though I’ve been down on my team this season it was hard not to walk out of Busch with a smug smile on my face as Shane muttered violent expletives to himself.

The Great Jack Buck.

Old Busch Scoreboard. Giants were winning 2-0 over Arizona. Hopefully a similar outcome awaits my visit to Phoenix today.

The view from our seats. The centerfield scoreboard looks fine but the out of town scoreboard in right center just doesn't seem right to me.

The St. Louis Legends.

Proof I was here. You can see the modern looking out of town scoreboard in the background.

Shane has been immortalized as the self appointed Czar of Cardinal Nation.

But the Czar was not to happy with the outcome of Sunday's game.

The Deathtour begins~!

2008-04-12T13:20:00.000-07:00

Baseball is a game unlike any other. A tradition dating back over 150 years referred to as our national pastime, baseball stands apart from those other sports. A game played with passion and patience, not urgency. A game not restrained by time but played in the moment. If basketball is played by 7 foot giants, football by 300 pound behemoths and hockey by, uh, Canadians, then baseball is played by children. It is the only sport that can so completely strip away the husk of adulthood to reveal our inner child. To lift us off our feet and carry us back 30 years in time to our days on the sandlot.

Seasonally separating itself from the other sports, baseball hogs the summer spotlight filling stadiums with children of all ages, inviting them to relax and enjoy the cool summer breeze. Away from school, away from work, away from all your worries.

Even the dimensions are unique. Football, no matter where you watch it, is played on the same 100 yard field, basketball on the same 94 foot court and hockey on the same 200 foot rink. The interior or the stadiums and arenas vary slightly from location to location but for the most part they’re remarkable similar.

Not so in Baseball. No two parks have identical surfaces, each with walls and fences of varying heights and lengths, contours of every design that help to create the ballpark’s identity. The Green Monster, The Ivy Wall, Tal’s Hill, McCovey Cove – Each of those names conjours up images of a specific place, features of a ballpark not found anywhere else in the country. These features help give each stadium a life of its own. No one can mistake Camden Yards for Comisky Park or The Ballpark at Union Station for Wrigley Field.

Since I was a kid I have dreamed of visiting these sites. To see the House that Ruth Built, or the Green Monster, or be where Cal Ripkin stood when he broke Lou Gehrig’s record for most consecutive games played. Until now I’ve only seen pictures. Sometime last year I got the crazy idea in my head to fulfill those childhood fantasies and travel around the country to each and every one of those stadiums. And that, at the risk of my sanity, became my goal for 2008. 30 major league teams and 30 major league stadiums, and appropriately it started at home on opening day.

The Ballpark at China Basin

Maybe it’s because I’ve coming here year after year. Maybe it’s because it’s my home city. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been anywhere else. Maybe it’s because I don’t know any better. But to me, the Ballpark at China Basin, regardless of which phone company you attach to the marquee, is the best park in the country. It may not have the history of Yankee Stadium, Fenway or Wrigley but aesthetically it is unsurpassed. The park is not even ten years old yet but already its legacy is far reaching. It was not the first of the new age ballparks to ditch the feel of the multi-purpose stadiums from the 60s in favor of the classic early 20^th century look, but it set the standard for all future ballparks. Since it opened, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Cincinnati, San Diego, Milwaukee, Philadelphia and St. Louis have all built new parks with Minnesota and both New York clubs set to open their new stadiums next season.

The Giants have one of the richest franchise histories in the game and you’re made aware of that before you even step inside the gate as you pass the statue of Willie Mays, whose name and number double as the address for the park. Once inside, everything harkens back to the past - from the old glove in left field, the brick wall and hand operated scoreboard in right, the cable car in center, the bullpen along the foul lines (a true relic these days). Retired numbers, and there’s plenty of those in this organization, adorn the top of the first deck in left field. It’s a who’s who of Giants history: Mays, McCovey, Marichal, Mathewson, Ott, Cepeda, McGraw, Terry and Hubbell. Two legends of broadcasting, Lon Simmons and Russ Hodges, have had their mics retired. And a list of the Giants personal 500 Home run club is posted in right-center.

This was the second time I’ve been able to attend opening day and there’s nothing like that experience of rebirth in April. Despite knowing how bad this year’s team is likely to be (and on the 50^th anniversary of coming to the city) I still got caught up in the pre-game festivities and deep down I almost felt a hint of optimism creep into me. But that soon dissipated with the start of the game as the Padres scored twice in the top of the first and the Giants hit into a double play with their first opportunity in the bottom half of the inning.

It's the 50th Anniversary of the San Francisco Giants and we're celebrating with our worst team yet. Thanks for still supporting us.

It's a parade of legends. At this point I think the 1958 Giants could give their 2008 counterparts a run for their money.

Brian Bocock has 8 whole days of Major League service. Ed, upon seeing this, "I'm surprised they don't have that calculated to the hour." I was focused on the lineup. Our lead off hitter is hitting .133.

The coke bottle, 1927 vintage glove and a bleacher section still packed in the 3rd while the game was still competitive. Below, a new 50th anniversary commemorative sign in place of the Bonds sign from last season. On it are several Giants legends no longer with the team. Not one of those legends: Barry Bonds.

Announced attendance was 42,841 but someone forgot to tell the fans there was a game today. We hadn't even hit the seventh inning stretch yet.

Historic Futility

2008-04-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

It’s one thing to be bad. It’s another thing entirely to be historically bad.

In all my years as a sports fan I’ve never actively rooted against my team. To do so is taboo. Even in circumstances where losing is more favorable to winning I just can’t do it. I’ve witnessed enough unlucky lottery selections and bad draft picks to know that dumping a season is not reliable means to future success. Rooting against your team is tantamount to tempting the wrath of the sports gods. So I root for my team to win every game, even when they don’t have a shot. It comes with the territory of being a fan. There’s a natural ebb and flow over decades of seasons, periods of greatness followed by periods of mediocrity. And in the modern sports age there’s plenty of mediocrity to go around. Those seasons, the 85-77 and 73-89 summers or the 8-8 winters, are frequent and forgettable. The die-hard rides the wave of mediocrity, toughing it out, waiting for that one special season where the stars align and it all comes together.

Giants baseball has been entrenched in the pit of mediocrity since losing the World Series to the California Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Only the presence of Barry Bonds saved the team from being completely irrelevant in the Baseball universe and his absence threatened make them forgotten altogether. Three weeks ago I’d resigned myself to the reality that this was going to be yet another season filled with blown leads, heartbreaking 1-0 losses with Matt Cain on the mound, with flashes of potential from Eugenio Velez sprinkled throughout the summer. A 72 win season. A Completely and unquestionably forgettable season.

Then came this exchange between my buddy Ed and I as we were pumping ourselves up for the Giants home opener.

Ed: The way things are looking we may have the opportunity to see the first Giants win of the season.

Me: The way things are looking we may have the opportunity to see the ONLY Giants win of the season.

I’d only said it in jest, but it got me thinking. We could not only have one of the worst teams this season, we could have one of the worst teams of ANY season. I pondered the possibility and the more I thought about it, the more intrigued about the prospect I became. We’ve been somewhere between bad and average for 5 years. Could we achieve historical awfulness this season? Was this something I wanted to see? And if so, what does that say about me as a fan?

After thinking it over I capitulated to my inner sports demon. It goes against everything I stand for as a fan but there are a couple of reasons I made to justify the decision.

1. Historical Purposes – It’s easy to have a bad season. Half of all teams finish with more loses than wins. But this is a rare opportunity to make history and that’s something I’d like to witness, even for a dubious cause.

2. Record Breakers – I’m a huge numbers geek and I think this was the tipping point in making the decision. There are 3 records that have stood for decades that the Giants have a shot at breaking this season – Shutout Loses, Fewest Runs Scored per game and Loses - and thinking about the odds of achieving all three fills me with a sense of joy. It’s the math geek equivalent to being a kid in a candy store. And it’s not just the records themselves, it’s the test of time these records have stood.

Of the three records only one comes from after the dead ball era. The 1960 expansion Mets famously lost 120 games finishing with only 40 wins. Since then the 2003 Detroit Tigers have come the closest to the record finishing just 1 game shy of tying the Mets with 119 loses. The Giants are off to a good start at 1-6 but of the 3 records this is the least likely one to break. What they have going against them is decent starting pitching. Tim Lincecum looks poised to have a great season and Cain and Zito should provide the Giants with enough solid starts to keep the anemic offense in most games. Of course, in order to win any games they need to score at least 1 run.

Which brings us to record number two. It’s entirely possible that this team isn’t good enough to score any runs on most days. The record for most times being shutout in a season is 33, set by the St. Louis Cardinals way back in 1908, 100 years ago this year. It’s only a week into the season but the Giants have been shut out twice which puts them on pace for 46 for the season. I hardly expect them keep that rate up for a whole season but 33 is within their range. 25 is almost a stone cold lock.

And not scoring runs game after game adds up, so to speak. Those same 1908 Cardinals hold the record for fewest runs on a per game basis with 2.41 totaling 371 in 154 games. With the evolution of hitting it’s not surprising this record belongs to the dead ball era. In fact, since 1925 only 8 teams have averaged less than 3 runs for a season - the lowest of which is the Phillies of 1942 (2.61 runs/game) - and 6 of those came between 1968 and 1972. To average less than 3 runs in the steroid era would be astonishing and if broken would be a true testament to how awful this team is and the level to which this franchise has fallen.

Does the possibility of breaking these tantalizing records justify my breaking fanhood law? Probably not, but I just can’t sit back and watch this on field carnage unfold without taking some sort of sick pleasure in it. So keep hitting those double plays and rack up those loses one at a time. We’re going to make history boys.

The 2008 San Francisco Baseball Giants

2008-04-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

Jose Castillo, Brian Bocock, Steve Holm. These are my 2008 San Francisco Giants. Wait, let me rephrase that. These are my 2008 San Francisco Giants?! I must have been hiding under a PacBell Park (yes, I still call it that) sized rock since November because I haven’t heard of half these guys. I knew the team was turning the page on the Barry Bonds era but this is something else. Although, to be fair, turning the page is something of an understatement. Peter Magowan and Brian Sabean ripped the page out of the book, set it on fire and danced the happy dance as it evaporated into winds of McCovey Cove.

And I’m not a fair-weather fan. Through the good times and the bad, I’ve supported this team since I was old enough to throw a baseball. I even, sort of paid attention during spring training this season even though this team, by all rights and analysis from the ‘experts’, is destined to finish in the cellar of the National League West and there are several other more important and interesting sports storylines in the Bay Area. (For instance, have you seen the Warriors lately? They’re the most exciting team in the NBA these days. And those Sharks that no one outside of San Jose seems to care about? Why they have a decent shot to win the Stanley Cup this season. )

So I shook my head when the Giants signed Aaron Rowand to a bazillion dollar contract (anyone ready for a salary cap yet?) and sighed when Omar Vizquel, Noah Lowry and Ray Durham went down to early injuries and resigned myself to the fact that this just wasn’t going to be our year. But, hey, on the bright side we’re going to play all those young prospects I saw last September, right?

Er, well, maybe. Maybe? What happened to the Ortmeiers, Schierholtz and Frandsens of the world? I guess I should have been paying closer attention in Spring. If I had I would have known that Ortmeier was impressive enough to barely make the roster, which according to him was his goal the whole time. I thought that was interesting given that I and everyone else living within 50 miles of PhoneBook Park were expecting him to be the everyday 1^st baseman but I guess he fooled us.

Schierholtz was even better than Ortmeier this Spring and was rewarded by being assigned to AAA.

As for Frandsen, apparently he was hurt in March as well, a fact that I had forgotten about until now. And forgotten is a appropriate word in this case as it describes Frandsen’s career up to this point: Completely forgettable.

So now we have Brian Bocock, Steve Holm and Jose Castillo. Three players I’d never heard of until Saturday when I happened to catch a few innings of the traditional Bay Bridge series. And it’s not surprising that I haven’t. Bocock and Holm haven’t played a single major league game between them and Jose Castillo has played the last three seasons in Pittsburgh, which I’m told still has a major league franchise.

So this is what I have to look forward to today; my new look 2008 San Francisco Giants. Well, had to look forward to, as while I was typing this, my Giants, Bocock and all, lost in perfect, predictable fashion, to those Bums from downstate, 5-0. As I watched that final pitch I pondered what the over/under for shutouts for the season would be and whether or not I could put money on it.

It’s going to be a long season. A long season of being shutout game after game after game. A long season of blowing late inning leads (when we have them). A long season of defensive blunders sure to make every Sportcenter blooper reel. A long season of watching players named Bocock, Castillo and Holm. A long season of hating Jeff Kent. A long season of double plays with one out and runners at the corners: the bane of every Giants fan over the last 3 seasons (this last point and the ensuing exerpt from an e-mail exchange with my buddy Ed prompted this blog).

Ed: I'm only listening on the radio... Do they look as bad as they sound?

P.S. I need to get a bigger heart just so I have somewhere for all of the hate that I feel for Jeff Kent.

Me: So far, they're as bad as they sound.

Without Bonds in the line up, Lewis, Davis, Velez and anyone else at the top need to be stealing bases every time they get on. Guys need to be sacrificing runners over and not hitting for the fences. And NO MORE Double plays! It's at the point where anytime the Giants have runners at 1st and 3rd with one out I just assume the next pitch will be hit into a DP. Fuckin' embarrassing.

Ed: Seriously. Their ability to hit into a double play even when it seems improbable is frightening.

It’s going to be a long season. I can’t wait to see them in the home opener.

I love baseball.