Deathtour~!: The Conclusion

That’s it. I’m done. 30 ballparks in one season. It was a rollercoaster ride from coast to coast, beginning to end. And as strange as this may sound, I can’t believe it’s over. Without question it was the most fun I’ve ever had. Every baseball fan should embark on such an adventure in their lifetime.

For the first time in 5 months I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing to plan. Nowhere to go. So now I can only look back on what was, and because I’m fascinated by numbers and lists, here are some of the highlights and facts, a few best of and worst of lists, some advice for future aspiring deathtour participants, and a few thank yous.

When I set out do the deathtour last year I was absolutely clueless as to how much effort it would take and how expensive it would be. I initially thought I could complete the trip in under $4,000, $6,000 tops, and maybe that’s possible. With better planning I may have been able to pull that off. But here are the final numbers. The tickets alone, to all 30 games cost $1,070. That’s an average of $35.66 per game. That number does not take into account the games which I did not pay to get into. In San Francisco, Oakland, Arizona and Milwaukee I went to the game for free. The most expensive game was Wrigley. I spent $265 on 3 tickets. The most I spent on a single ticket was at Fenway. That game cost me $150.

The total cost of transportation from city to city was $4,500. That number does not include any city transit I may have used, be it taxis or metro. Over the course of the tour I boarded 38 different planes and 7 trains. Lodging at 21 hotels cost $2,676, a cost of $127 per location.

Had I kept better records I could tell you how much all my food cost. I’ve estimated that I spent $360 on food at games. The programs and scorecards added up to $137.

In total it all adds up to $8,754 not including other ancillary costs. All together that’s a cost of $291 per game. Not too bad, but it could be better.

And now a few completely arbitrary awards.

Best Out of Town Scoreboard (Excluding AT&T Park) – Fenway Park. Hand operated scoreboards are the best. Every ballpark should have one. Sadly, only a small number of them do and the best one of those is in Fenway.

Best Centerfield Screen – Chase Field, Arizona; Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City. These two ballparks set the gold standard today. Their size is jaw-dropping, they’re as clear as crystal and every inch of those screens is utilized perfectly.

Best Domed Ballpark – Chase Field, Arizona. Houston is a close number 2 here but AZ is the best.

Best Sausage Race – Miller Park, Milwaukee. Often imitated, never duplicated, still the best. Other ‘races’ have been popping up around the country including a live Dot Race in Texas, but nothing is better than 5 sausages running from left field to the first base dugout at Miller Park.

Best Giant Coca-cola Bottle – The Phone Booth, San Francisco. Take that, Atlanta!

Best Scorecard Design – SafeCo Field, Seattle. 6 spots for pitchers, a box to keep track of balls and strikes and slot at the bottom of the inning for E and LOB. You’d think every scorecard would have them but you’d be wrong.

Worst Scorecard Design – Dolphin Stadium, Florida. Stupid tiny and there’s no place to list who’s pitching! Unbelievable.

Best Ballpark with an Attention to History - 3. Yankee Stadium, New York; 2. Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati; 1. Busch Stadium, St. Louis – A fistful of statues of St. Louis greats, both Browns and Cardinals, a tribute to Jack Buck and the old scoreboard from old Busch.

Best Food - 5. Miller Park, Milwaukee; 4. PNC Park, Pittsburgh; 3. Chase Field, Phoenix; 2. MacAfee Coliseum, Oakland; 1. AT&T Park, San Francisco – The top 2 are both from the Bay Area? Shocking! Garlic Fries, hand carved sandwiches, Clam Chowder in sourdough bread, crab cakes, pizzas, Cha-Cha bowls and Baby Bull sandwiches, San Francisco has it all. In 8 years of going there I still haven’t tried everything yet.

Best Location - 5. Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati; 4. Yankee Stadium, New York; 3. PETCO Park, San Diego; 2. AT&T Park, San Francisco; 1. Wrigley Field, Chicago – Nothing tops the atmosphere at Wrigleyville before and after a game.

Worst Location - 5. MacAfee Coliseum, Oakland; 4. The Ballpark in Arlington, Arlington; 3. Anaheim Stadium, Anaheim; 2. Dolphin Stadium, Miami; 1. Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles – There’s, like, 10 million people there and they managed to build a park that isn’t near anything.

Best Value - 5. Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City; 4. Camden Yards, Baltimore; 3. Rangers Ballpark in Arlington; 2. Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati; 1. PNC Park, Pittsburgh – Not only is it one of the most beautiful parks in the country with engaging scenery and lively atmosphere, it’s also one of the most affordable which makes it the best value in America (and Toronto)

Best Classic Park - 3. Yankee Stadium, New York; 2. Wrigley Field, Chicago; 1. Fenway Park, Boston – Just edging out Wrigley for the best antique in the big leagues is Fenway. It’s all about the Green Monster.

Worst Ballpark - 5. Tropicana Field, Tampa Bay; 4. Metrodome, Minnesota; 3. Shea Stadium, New York; 2. Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles; 1. Dolphin Stadium, Florida – Two of these 5 are being replaced leaving the two Florida parks with Dodger Stadium. It’s a really tight race at the bottom. Dolphin and Dodger Stadiums might as well be 1a and 1b.

Best Ballpark - 5. Chase Field, Arizona; 4. Fenway Park, Boston; 3. PNC Park, Pittsburgh; 2. Busch Stadium, St. Louis; 1. AT&T Park, San Francisco – I’d always believed we had the best park in the country, but until now I couldn’t confirm it with certainty. 29 stadiums later, now I can.

The next 5:

Great American Ballpark, Wrigley Field, Jacobs Field, Minute Maid Park, Camden Yards

This whole endeavor wasn’t without a few minor problems and if I had to do this all over again (which, believe me, I’m not doing) I would change a few things.

1. Plan everything out before the season starts.

I paid for not doing this. By waiting until just a few weeks before leaving on a few trips I ended up paying more than I should have. There are some teams that sellout most, if not all of their games before the season. In cases like Fenway or Wrigley, buy your tickets well ahead of time.

2. Longer trips are cheaper.

This I realized but I only took two trips of one week or longer. I probably could have saved over a thousand dollars by grouping games together more efficiently. I traveled across the entire country only to go to a game in Atlanta and 2 games in Florida. I would have been better served to chain that trip with a few other games before coming home.

3. Pay attention to the weather.

Obviously, when you plan a trip like this out in February, you don’t know what the weather’s going to be like in Cleveland on July 23, but based on historical evidence you can figure when the best times and worst times to travel to certain places are. For instance, don’t plan to go to Florida during hurricane season. In Houston, I cost myself an extra $600 by scheduling that trip during the same week of a hurricane. Of course I couldn’t know that would happen but I would have lessened my chances of that happening by scheduling Houston or Florida in April. As it was, I was extremely lucky to only have to reschedule 1 game out of 30.

4. Get frequent flier miles with an airline.

I made sure to do this before I started. And if I was smarter than I was, I would have looked into a similar deal with a hotel chain too. But, as it turns out, I’m not that smart.

5. Mooch off your friends and relatives as much as possible.

This always helps when you’re looking to save some money.

6. Sit in the cheap seats.

At least most of the time. Upper deck seats behind home plate, in my experience, are the best value in most places. Really cheap bleacher seats are good too. In nearly every game I tried to buy a seat with a face value of less than $30.

That covers just about everything. But before I wrap this up I want to thank a few people.

First, thanks to anyone who’s been following this wacky adventure. I’ve gotten some great feedback from people and it’s nice to see everyone following me along from city to city.

Special thanks to everyone who came out to the games with me. Shane Welker, Pat Loika, Taxman, the Jew Mafia, Brewtown Andy, Ed, Jon Dye, Everyone’s Pal Jim, Jabsen, my sister and my family in Mesa. I really appreciate you guys and I had a blast hanging with you all at the yard and I hope we can all do it again some time.

A real special thanks to Shane, Pat, Jim and my family in Mesa for allowing me to crash with them for a night or two. You helped make this trip possible.

That’s it for this year. The Deathtour is at an end, at least for now. The most frequently asked question I get is, “So, are you going to go to every football stadium next year?” The answer to that is an emphatic, “No! Are you crazy?” I don’t even want to know how much that would cost me. But that’s not to say I won’t travel to a few sporting events next year. I may make a return trip to a few places, and New York will have 2 new stadiums next season for me to review.

2009, here we come. Go Giants!

Deathtour~!: Minute Maid Park, Houston

It’s all come down to the last weekend of the season in Houston. I’ve passed through 29 stadiums on my way here and 5 months, 2 weeks and 5 days after I sat in section 321 of AT&T Park and watched that first game of the season I’ve finally reached the end of my journey. My only regret is that I’m finishing alone, and not in Kansas City as I’d originally planned. Se la vie.

After a long plane trip, which included 2 stops in San Diego and Denver, I arrived at long last in Houston. I quickly checked into my hotel nestled at the edge of downtown Houston, just two blocks from Minute Maid Park, and walked over to pick up my ticket from will call.

The Astros have a litany of historical accomplishments to their credit which are displayed in (I’m not joking) Halliburton Field, right outside the stadium behind the Crawford Boxes. Career milestones, retired numbers, player awards, HOF members – all are recognized with plaques behind half an infield with statues of a second basemen throwing to first.

There’s even a dugout you can sit in. And the windows provide a peek into the playing field from outside, similar to the right field level at AT&T.

Minute Maid is a brilliant concept with nods to past ballparks galore while remaining distinctively modern. The Crawford boxes only 320 feet from home and sit on top of the classic hand operated scoreboard. In dead center is Tal’s Hill and the flagpole, taken from Crosley Field and old Yankee Stadium respectively. The field dimensions remind me of the early ballparks, constrained in their design by the city streets they bordered. The field is rectangular with just the one curve in center. It’s a straight line from right field to the hill and only the Crawford boxes, jutting out in left prevent a straight line from the foul pole to the flag pole.

My seat was only $7 and now I know why. I can’t see the left field corner. I’m also in the very last row of section 406.

It’s game time and they haven’t closed the roof. I was really hoping they would. Not because the weather is lousy (it’s not), I just wanted to watch it move. About the only thing Minute Maid Park lacks so far is a quality centerfield screen. I’m pretty sure the one they have isn’t intended as an homage to 1980s technology.

Ty Wiggington hit one out to right and the train makes its way above the Crawford Boxes. The train is a reference to this being the former site of Union Station.

In a play that’s as unusual as the triple play I saw in San Francisco earlier this season, Michael Bourn just scored on a sacrifice fly to center from second base. Great heads up play by Bourn and it took everybody by surprise, most notably Josh Anderson who took his time in throwing it back in.

If you know 75 people and have $2500 to blow at a baseball game, why not rent out the roof at Union Station?

We just concluded the fifth inning making this game official. No matter what happens now, no can say I didn’t watch a game at all 30 stadiums this season. Since I’m alone for this game I take to my phone to spread the news.

LaTroy Hawkins come in to pitch the 8^th for the Astros with a 4-2 lead. It seems like I’ve watched him in 12 different games or so this season. Am I imagining that? I know he was with the Yankees earlier this season. How many teams has he played with in his career? It has to be over 10. I’m going to look this up. In the meantime Hawkins is pitching like he has absolutely nothing to do after the game tonight. Umpires need to start enforcing the 20 second rule. LaTroy Hawkins has been pitching so long he’s been traded twice since coming into the game.

Hawkins finally got out of the inning after giving up a run. At least the game isn’t tied. I can only imagine the final game of my season going 15 innings. (I looked it up and Hawkins has only played for 7 teams. That sounds way to low to me. He needs to play for 5 or 6 more before he retires.)

Jose Valverde, the Astros emotional closer come in to close out the game and hopefully finish my season.

Valverde gives up a walk, a single, a FC, another walk and a second single and we’re tied going to the bottom of the ninth. C’mon ‘Stros!

Well how ‘bout that! Darrin Erstad, who came in as a defensive substitution an inning earlier hit a walk off home run to win the game. It’s the first (and last) walk off home run I’ve seen this season and I can’t think of a better way to finish the deathtour~!

Deathtour~!: Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City

After hitting Arlington I’m in KC, kicking it with the Jew Mafia in what was scheduled to be the final game of the season.

Kauffman Stadium is the definition of a work in progress. At 35 years old, The K is from the same era that Riverfront, Three Rivers, Dodger Stadium, Shea, Candlestick, and the Astrodome are from. As of 2009, all those stadiums, with the lone exception of Dodger Stadium, will no longer be used for baseball. In a time when those cookie-cutter ballparks are being replaced by modern retro style yards, Kauffman is being given a facelift, along with the Chiefs’ home arrowhead next door.

The reconstruction is ongoing, and watching a game at The K is akin to moving into a home with 2 walls. I half expected to be given a hard hat as I passed through the turnstile.

It’s retro week, or 80’s week, or something like that. Upper Deck seats are only $3! So of course that’s where were sitting, right? Nope. About 3 seconds before we got to the ticket window I changed my mind and splurged for the $25 first base side seats. Kauffman Stadium is the most affordable park in the country. Hopefully that doesn’t change with the renovations. This could be the best baseball park in terms of total value in 2009.

It’s surprisingly crowded, likely a result of the $3 seats and the ongoing construction which has reduced the capacity of the stadium to something in the 20,000s I’m guessing. The concourse is narrow. An issue that will be resolved next season, Simon says.

One of the new features that has already been put in is the new screen in centerfield and it’s a crowning achievement in video technology (no pun intended) and it looks every bit as good as the screen at Chase Field. Its shape is unique and also matches the logo of the Royals (the crown will be added for next season).

Being a National League guy, I don’t really know much about the Royals as a team, at least their current roster. Simon mentions all the youngsters on the Kansas City roster. Meanwhile I’m looking over the names of past Royals listed on the long sleeve t-shirt we got at the gate: Bret Saberhagen, Jeff Montgomery, George Brett, Hal McRae, Dan Quisenberry. Before tonight I honestly couldn’t have named a player on the Royals roster if you placed a gun to my head. Benito Santiago played here for a season, right?

One of the Royals best prospects, I’m told, is Alex Gordon but I'm pretty sure that's Jim from The Office.

A lot of seating has been removed, including several rows behind home plate. Entire sections were closed off in the upper deck.

The bulk of the renovations are taking place in the outfield. A new restaurant (all the rage in baseball parks these days) is being built behind the left field bullpen and a portion of the water formation will be removed to add a small bleacher section. The waterfall and fountains will still remain in center and right fields.

It’s too bad I came here during construction. From the looks of it, it’s going to be a top of the line facility next season. I just don’t know when I’ll get a chance to see it.

Just 1 more game! Can I make it to Houston before the season ends?

Deathtour~!: Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas

What a difference two days make. I’m still recovering from Denver but I feel 10,000% better than I did on Saturday. Today I’m in Arlington, a city with over 300,000 people yet has no public transportation to speak of. And though my hotel is just a mile or so from the ballpark, it took me 30 minutes to get there this morning to buy my ticket, walking mostly on the shoulder of the road as there were no sidewalks.

I walked back over for the game in the evening about 30 minutes before the first pitch to an almost empty ballpark. I realized that just down the road the Cowboys are playing the Eagles on Monday Night Football but I’m still shocked that this place is empty so close to gametime.

Everything is big in Texas, including Rangers Ballpark. The concourse is enormously spacious. The grandstand supports are towering. The suites in centerfield are skyscrapers. Yet it’s somehow scenic.

The first pitch is thrown and I don’t believe there is more than 10,000 people here.

I’m all the way up in the upper level but I’ll likely be moving around quite a bit. With so few people here I don’t think anyone will care where I sit. FYI, my seat cost only $6. Pretty sweet deal.

Two batters in and Texas’ starting pitcher has sustained an injury of some sort. I couldn’t tell from way up here what happened but his catcher sensed something was up based on the last pitch he threw. We’ve got our first pitching change of the night.

It’s so quiet here you can hear each individual fan yelling at the players. Some guy 400 feet from me in the centerfield bleachers just called Matt Joyce a ‘chicken’ for not trying to stretch a double into a triple. Not word on whether the fan in question was this guy.

Jeffrey Larish hit an excuse me double off a check swing down the left field line to drive in the first run of the game. There’s something you don’t see every game.

For no apparent reason a small round of applause makes its way around the stadium. I can only assume this has something to do with the football game. A few minutes later a small chorus of boos goes up.

Hey, it’s the dot race. I thought that event was exclusive to Oakland. And the final lap is LIVE~? They’re not kidding! This is the greatest thing my eyes have ever been witness to.

Strange series of events. Max Ramirez, Ranger DH, was clearly hit with a pitch on a check swing. At least it was clear to everyone except home plate umpire Eric Cooper. Ramirez was about to head down to first when Cooper was like, “Where you going, buddy?” Ramirez rolled up his sleeve to show him the mark. Cooper looked at it for about a minute and still wasn’t convinced so Rangers manager, Ron Washington came out to give him some help in finding the giant mark the pitch left. Finally Cooper gets help from the first base umpire who tells him, “oh yeah, he was hit,” and Cooper awards Ramirez first base. This of course brings out Jim Leland because that’s what you do when a call is reversed. It doesn’t matter that even you don’t believe you’re right.

Leland’s putting on a pretty good show. I think he may have convinced himself that Ramirez wasn’t hit. But he eventually returned to the dugout.

Okay, things just picked up again. About 15 seconds after returning to the dugout, Cooper ejected Leland. I guess he really did think he wasn’t hit.

And now I’ve seen everything. Jim Leland, at 95 years of age or so, ran out of the dugout like an Olympic sprinter to get his money’s worth with Cooper. I’m stunned he didn’t break a hip in the process. The only way this could possibly get better is if he returns to the dugout two innings later sporting a Groucho mustache.

So after all that happened, Taylor Teagarden, the Rangers rookie catcher who’s slugging .900 or so hits a Grand Slam to give the Rangers the lead. This has been one of the most entertaining games I’ve been to all season.

I’ve been changing seats every half inning or so. I haven’t seen a bad seat yet. Detroit ties it back up in the 7^th. Nobody wants to win this game.

Detroit regains the lead only to blow it in the bottem of the 8^th. Texas has a 3 run cushion going to the ninth. Hopefully it’s enough to send these 10,000 or so fans home happy.

Earlier Gary Sheffield hit his 497^th home run. I’m standing near where it was hit when the usher standing next to me tells me Sheffield asked for the ball back as they were escorting the guy who caught it to the visiting locker room. I figure he must have passed someone on the all time list but it turns out he didn’t so who knows why he wants it.

And the Rangers do close it out winning a wild one, 11-8.

Deathtour~!: Coors Field, Colorado

When I labeled this cross-country journey to ballparks from coast to coast the “Deathtour” it was a tongue in cheek phrase intended to poke fun at my 30 ballparks or bust attitude towards this wacky adventure. It was never meant to be taken seriously. But the word “Deathtour” could not be a more appropriate today. With just a few games left in the season I took off for what was my last scheduled road trip to 4 midwest cities: Denver, Houston, Arlington and Kansas City. Mother Nature had already altered my plans just days before my departure in shutting down the city of Houston. The day before I left for Denver I could tell I was coming down with some virus.

By the time I got to Denver I was running a high fever. I haven’t been this sick in a long time. I have no business being out the house let alone flying to another state for a baseball game. And the altitude isn’t doing any favors for my health I’m sure. I’m feeling worse by the minute. There’s a good chance I won’t make it through the game.

Coors Field is only a short walk from my downtown hotel which couldn’t be more important tonight. It’s surrounded by upscale restaurants and businesses and blends in beautifully with the brick facing. To my surprise there’s a sizable walk up crowd for the game and plenty of Dodger fans.

Coors Field has $4 seats in center field. That’s one of the best deals in baseball but I need to sit in the shade so I buy a ticket for the third base reserved.

I don’t know if it’s the altitude or this disease that’s ravaging my body but I just got winded walking up a flight of stairs to the upper deck. I just hope I don’t collapse.

The Rockies and Dodgers are playing a twilight game tonight so I got here just in time for the start of the game. This is great news for me although in my near delirious state I didn’t check the first pitch ahead of time so it’s a complete accident I’m here on time.

I barely have time to fill in my scorecard when Manny Ramirez, wearing a number that has no business being on a baseball uniform, hits a double to right. Manny gets the superstar heel reaction from the crowd along with some applause from the Dodger fans. If I could I’d be right with those Rockies fans. I just don’t have a voice for it.

I had plans to walk up to the top of the stadium but thought better of it. Near the top is a row of seats colored purple. This row is exactly 1 mile above sea level (or so they say).

The Rockies are one of those teams that have no retired numbers, aside from the league retired #42, but that will change eventually, perhaps within the next decade. I would be shocked if Todd Helton doesn’t receive the honor of being the inaugural selection. He’s injured right now, but I’ve seen hundreds of number 17 jerseys in the stands.

The Rockpile in centerfield. And below that, a rock pile in centerfield.

Just missed catching a foul ball, or in this case being hit by one as I can barely move. I've seen far more line drives hit into the upper deck here than anywhere. Not surprising given where I am.

The Rockies may be the only professional team with a female mascot. Okay, so maybe Dinger isn’t a girl dinosaur, but that was my initial reaction when I saw him/her/it.

Meanwhile, in the game I’m barely able to pay attention to, the Dodgers have opened up a 4-1 lead in the fourth. Ramirez strikes out swinging for the second time to end the rally.

The game becomes official at around 7:45 and with great sadness I decide I’ve had enough. In the words of Kimbo Slice, “I’m done, Gus.” I take one last lap around the field to enjoy the bleachers, the bullpen and hand operated scoreboard. Coors Field is a great looking ballpark. I only regret not being well enough to enjoy it properly.

After exiting the stadium I take one last look at the lone statue outside the Home Plate gate. But it's not a statue of a Rockie player, it's a statue of a generic baseball player.

Next up is Arlington…hopefully.

Deathtour~!: Tropicana Field, Tampa Bay

I’m done with the state of Florida. And I’m not talking baseball games here. I’m talking life. I hope in the remaining one-hundred twenty five years of life I have left I never ever have to return to this awful state. How anyone could live here willfully is beyond me.

It only took me 30 minutes to walk to Tropicana Field, which was more than enough time for a thunderstorm to start after I left the hotel and stop before I was in view of the [Devil] Rays home dome. By the time I walked to the ticket window I looked like I had just jumped into the deep end of a pool completely dressed. I’ve never been happier to be in a dome.

The [Devil] Rays have a reputation for not drawing fans unless Boston is in town but there’s a big crowd on hand today. I couldn’t even get upper deck seats. I had to pay for lower level loge seats which I wasn’t happy about since I ended up finding plenty of seats up top. There’s plenty of entertainment going on here including a post game concert and Sci-fi night. And according to the emcee there might be a baseball game played here as well. Here's hoping.

I watched BP and had lunch from my paid seat but took to the very last row for the game to allow my soaking wet feet to dry off in private.

From up here I can almost touch the catwalk.

My camera died shortly after the game started. I hope it’s not a result of walking through that thunderstorm. Everything in my pockets got soaked, including my trip itinerary and passport. Florida sucks.

The crowd is a weird combination of seniors and 15 year old girls. I’m assuming the girls are all here for the concert. As for the old people, it’s Florida. I wonder if the [Devil] Rays have some sort of Bingo Night event. I’d think that’d be a no-brainer down here.

Aubrey Huff gets the “we don’t like you now that you’re not playing for us” reaction and promptly knocks one out of the park to give the Orioles a 5-3 lead. This has the feeling of a 12-9 sort of game.

Maybe it’s because we don’t have one in SF, but I don’t understand the need for an emcee scouring the crowd between innings while being shadowed by half a dozen girls who couldn’t explain the ground rule double if you gave them a rule book.

Two things that really make this place look far worse than it is: The catwalk and that awful looking turf.

Another deathtour first. A walkoff base hit in the bottom of the ninth to win 10-9. And there have been plenty of bottom of the ninth chances for home teams so far. Carlos Pena walked and Rocco Baldelli, shockingly healthy, drove him in. Pena got in just before the tag to end the game. Can I go home now?

Deathtour~!: Dolphin Stadium, Florida

Baseball stadiums need to be downtown, or at least in an area of a city that is easily accessible and there’s no better evidence of why that should be than Dolphin Stadium, a stadium that is so abominable, I can’t begin to fathom how Miami convinced Major League Baseball to give them a franchise. After 14 years they’re still playing in this dump without any plans for a modern facility. Dolphin Stadium is located in the exact center of nowhere, a perfect location for a football game but a lousy location for a baseball game. Despite having a bus that services the stadium, the line is so infrequent that it took me two hours to get to the game. Unacceptable.

The stadium is clearly designed for football. The Marlins don’t even bother selling tickets in half the upper deck sections and the left field sections are just like Candlestick’s pavilion and the current design at the Coliseum: football seating rolled underneath the baseball seats which causes discoloration in the outfield grass.

Not surprisingly, there’s no one at this game. And the Marlins are still competing for a wild card spot. Miami’s a worse baseball town than Atlanta. I can’t believe the Marlins have World Series to their name. I’m still bitter about that.

It’s a low scoring pitching duel. Good thing because I’ve never wanted a game to end so badly.

Dear God, the Marlins have cheerleaders. Cheerleaders?! In Baseball?! How is this allowed?!

They also have a group of fat male ‘cheerleaders’ called the Manatees. They’re a parody of their own cheerleaders! Priceless.

2-1 Dol-I mean Marlins going to the 9^th. The Mets fans are still into it. I think they outnumber the Marlins fans. And there aren’t many here to begin with.

Kevin Gregg comes in to close and quickly gets the first 2 outs. Unfortunately for Gregg you need 3 outs in baseball and getting that 3^rd out is proving to be a challenge. Two singles and back to back home runs later and the Mets have a 5-2 lead.

The bottom of the ninth is just as interesting. Now it’s the Mets fans to get nervous. The Marlins score two but strand two to end the game. I’ve never been happier to see a game end. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but Dodger Stadium is not the worst place in baseball.

Deathtour~!: Turner Field, Atlanta

It’s the beginning of a new road trip, a short 3 game stretch covering the three southeast teams in baseball - Atlanta, Florida and Tampa Bay – beginning at Turner Field in Atlanta. I’m really looking forward to this game. Well, not so much the game, but for the first non-Bay Area game since Milwaukee I’ll be joined by another friend of mine and it’s always nice to see long distance friends.

Conveniently, my hotel is right across the street from Turner Field so I walk over about 30 minutes before game time and stroll through Monument Grove to the ticket window. Monument Grove is Turner Field’s version of the various statue parks throughout the league, paying tribute to Hank Aaron, Warren Spahn, Phil Niekro and others. There’s also the Braves Hall of Fame and Museum but I don’t have the time to see it.

My buddy JABSEN has scored us club level seats but he was running a little late so I bought the cheapest ticket available ($6 for Upper Pavilion in right field) and went through the gate. Throughout the lower level are standing room areas behind the first level of seating, complete with ample counter space so you can stand and enjoy the game without the complication of awkwardly scribbling in that 6-4-3 double play while balancing that half eaten Georgia Dog on your lap as you rub elbows with the guy next to you. There’s plenty of room at the counter.

After Jabsen arrives we make our way up to the club level. From here I have a much better view of the rest of the stadium. Atlanta has a reputation of being a fairly lousy sports city and this crowd is evidence of that. True, the franchise’s success has waned recently, but even when they were winning division titles every year for over a decade they had trouble filling seats.

Those division titles are all listed in left field. I still can’t believe they only won one World Series in all those seasons with one of the greatest pitching rotations ever. Maddox, Glavine and Smoltz are all Hall of Fame pitchers. How cool would it be if they all retired at the same time and went to Cooperstown in the same class?

Speaking of Smoltz, sadly, he’s been injured for a majority of the season. About the only contribution he’s made this year are those 30 second promo spots between innings on community events and designated driving. Without a doubt, Smoltz is my favorite non Giants player ever.

Brian McCann’s 3 run home run has the Braves up 4-0 over the Marlins, who I’ll be watching tomorrow night as well in Miami.

Chick-fil-a, which has no presence in the Bay Area what-so-ever, is one of the Braves’ chief corporate sponsors. They even have a giant mechanical cow that does the chop. On a completely unrelated note, does anyone remember Rusty? Yeah, me neither.

Turner Field is also home to the second best coca-cola bottle in baseball. I shouldn’t have to say where the best is.

There’s a lot of entertainment here including a pair of restaurants, an alley of interactive fun, a stage and Tooner Field, a Cartoon Network invention for the kids.

Braves closer, Mike Gonzalez, strikes out the side to end a quick 2 and a half hour game. It was fun while it lasted but I feel short changed on the amount of time I got to spend with Jabby but such has been the case with many of these quick stops.

Deathtour~!: McAfee Colisuem, Oakland

It’s a good thing there’s a BART station that drops you off right behind the Oakland Coliseum. Otherwise, there’d be no reason to make the trip out here. Oakland is second only to Southern California in terms of worst locations for a ballpark, although that’s just so far. Miami, Tampa and Arlington are still to come.

The Colisuem is just a stone’s throw from home yet I feel as though it’s such a hassle to get to. But then I’m lazy. So lazy that I haven’t been here since sixth grade. To get an idea of how long that’s been compare how the ballpark looked then to how it looks now.

Then:

Now:

Oh, it’s hideous! Make it stop!

Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise as the A’s are in process of securing a brand new baseball only stadium in beautiful Freemont.

If you can ignore Mt. Davis (it’s tough to do), this is still a quality place to watch a game. The A’s have a small but vocal fan base, the weather is great, the seating is intimate (thanks to the tarping off of the upper deck) and prices reasonable, and the food might be second only to San Francisco.

There’s a lot that can be said about the upper deck tarp. Yes, it draws attention to the fact that Oakland can’t draw a big crowd but at least they don’t let the space go to waste. There are Championship markers and retired numbers lining the outfield tarp: The Eck, Jackson, Fingers and Catfish. I wonder if they’ll ever add McGuire to that list. He was just as important to those late eighties and early ninties teams as Eckersley.

On to the game. This is the second time I’ve watched Oakland and the fourth time I’ve watched the White Sox. It’s the second match-up of two teams I’ve watched previously. Oakland defeated the White Sox at US Cellular Field back in July 2-1 in an excellent pitching duel. The principle difference between then and now is the addition of Ken Griffey Jr. to the White Sox lineup. AJ Peirzynski is not in the lineup. This is very disappointing. I was really looking forward to heckling him.

We’re headed for another low scoring affair, although Danks and Smith are using a ton of pitches. The White Sox went up 2-0 in the second on a pair of doubles and a single. Oakland got one back in the third on a double and an error. Not much else in the way of runs. Nick Swisher has gotten a positive response from the fans of his former team.

Next time I’m sitting up there. $35, a seat behind home plate and all you can eat food.

Oakland also has a hand operated score board. And above that are the drummers you’ve heard at every Oakland home game. They’ve kept it up all game today.

Jenks, which sounds a lot like Danks, gets the save eventually and White Sox get their revenge for the game I went to in Chicago. On the season it’s the 16^th road victory I’ve attended, which guarantees the home squad will have a collective losing record for the deathtour. Considering the winning percentage of the home team is 55% in baseball, this statistical anomaly is baffling to me.

Deathtour~!: Rogers Centre, Toronto

First off, yes, I’m a month late with this. Why I couldn’t get to this sooner, I don’t know. But anyway, after the late night game at Fenway I headed to the land of the maple leaf, Mounties, ice hockey and Bret Hart to watch the only remaining Canadian team in Major League baseball. And I haven’t seen Toronto at all so it’s the first time I’ll get to hear O’Canada this season. I’m really excited about that.

The former Skydome, now labeled Rogers Centre, sits in the shadow of the CN Tower near the Toronto waterfront. When it was built, it was considered a state-of-the-art facility. It was the first stadium to have a fully retractable roof, and also is home to a restaurant in centerfield and a hotel, with rooms overlooking the field. Unfortunately a few years later, Camden Yards would open and completely alter people’s perceptions of what a baseball facility should look like.

The first level promenade is more like a basketball or hockey arena than a baseball or football stadium. Maybe it’s the cleaner floors or the way the sound echoes off the walls. It’s not the sound of a park, it’s the sound of an arena. And with the doors to the dome closed the wind moves differently. It’s serene and calm.

Before finding my up to the top level, I took a peak in the team store. My attention was drawn to a wall of caps. From afar I was unable to tell what was on most of them, but based on the sheer volume of hats I assumed they carried the logos of many different teams, which would be unusual for a team store. On closer inspection every hat was a Blue Jays hat. There must have been 50 unique designs. I didn’t think it was possible to have 50 variations on a single logo, but I guess I was wrong.

Once again I’m at a domed stadium without a dome above me. So far, every retractable roof I’ve been to has been opened. Metrodome in Minneapolis is the only indoor game I’ve seen. Later this season Tampa will be inside and Houston has a dome, which is rarely ever opened. It’s a bit disappointing that Seattle, Arizona, Milwaukee and Toronto all had their roofs open.

I just made it to my seat to hear O Canada, literally music to my ears after standing through 20 versions of The Star Spangled Banner, 90% of them awful. AJ Burnett is pitching for Toronto, Scott Shields for Tampa Bay. 80% chance of a pitching duel tonight.

Burnett strikes out the side in the top of the first sparking a roar from the small crowd. Hey! Cliff Floyd is in the lineup for Tampa Bay. I remember him coming up in 1993 as a rising star and quickly fading into obscurity and disappearing from my radar completely about 5 years ago. I’m genuinely stunned he’s still playing.

We’re rolling along here. Burnett has 7 strikeouts through 3 innings but Tampa has a 1-0 lead. Toronto is one of only a few teams that doesn’t have any retired numbers, but unlike the other franchises that were created recently the Blue Jays have been around since the 1970s. Instead, Toronto has what they call “The Level of Excellence” which lists some of the key players they’ve had over the years. I know they have a policy against retiring numbers but I think it’s crazy that someone is still wearing Joe Carter’s number.

Eric Hinske was just picked off first base drawing a huge reaction at the former Blue Jay. I’d have to check, but I think that’s the first successful pickoff I’ve seen. I’m still waiting on a no-hitter and a cycle.

Both starting pitchers have been outstanding but they’re out due to that dreaded pitch count. Matt Stairs, who still comes to the plate to Stone Cold Steve Austin’s theme music, put the Blue Jays ahead on a two-run hit that cleared a wall constructed in the outfield.

I’m perusing the Blue Jays program and came across the absolute funniest thing I’ve ever seen, the player profile for current Toronto Blue Jay and former Giant Jeremy Accardo. The significant text has been highlighted.

BJ Ryan closes out the Rays in the ninth to send the crowd home happy. A family of foreign tourists (and in this case I am also a foreign tourist), getting their first taste of baseball, ask me who won the game. The son seems to have an idea of what’s going on as when I tell them the Blue Jays won he gives his dad the “see, I told you” look.

It is somewhat sad that a stadium built in my lifetime is so completely outdated, which is not to say it’s a bad place to watch a game despite a turf surface, dirt only around the bases, the multi-purpose field, a seating capacity exceeding the demand of the fan base and an upper deck that might possibly be located in upstate New York. It’s a nice location, and the facilities inside the stadium are well kept, but this type of ballpark is quickly reaching extinction. With a retractable roof, there’s no reason not to have natural grass. I’m not sure what you can do about the upper level seating being so far away. Maybe they can tarp off the upper deck entirely and add field level seat while renovating the outfield section.